Brain Harvest (1) Pitch Me A Deal

Brain Harvest (1) Pitcher And A Deal

Kirk Carter@ Chew Bear Productions@ Copyright 2014

LOGLINE: Two pre-med students studying neurology, stumble across an underground market for harvesting pleasure chemicals produced by the brain. They conspire to satisfy the need!

BRAIN HARVEST (1)

Pitch Me A Deal 

Opening Scene:

int: Neuroscience Classroom-Tulane Medical School-New Orleans, La.-11 a.m.

Professor Darla Murphy

"...And as we see, Serotonin is closely related to the Amino Acid Tryptophan...a protein which is partially developed in the pituitary gland at the base of the brain near the basal ganglia..."

(Scene Switch)

Brian Cramer (pro-lead) student

"You know, at some point you would think they would realize they're just repeating themselves!"

Sydney Shaffer (co-lead, best friend) student

"That's just it...they don't think, they're fucking tenured, they don't have to reason or make sense, just come in and occupy the desk every day!"

Professor Murphy

"Excuse me you two...how many times have I told you to quit mumbling in class...you know, some of us want to learn something, advance a bit...become doctors!"

Brian

"I'm sorry Professor Murphy, but we were just making comment on how pretty you look today!"

Sydney

"Yes Mam, we are indeed blessed, and that dress..that dress so becomes you!"

Professor Murphy

"Well I, ah just keep your comments to yourselves, and ah, well...thank you..."

Brian whispering

"She bought into that crap pretty good..."

Sydney

"Easy pickings...I'd do her!"

Brian and Sydney turn their heads forward, noticing class is completely quiet and Professor Murphy staring right at them.

Murphy

"Yes my Dear's...and I heard every word..it's so nice to know that Mister Shaffer is available to do me...now both of you get out of my classroom!

(Scene Switch)

Brian Out In Hallway

"Fuck that bitch, let's go tie one on, not going to become a Doctor today anyway..."

Sydney

"Lat's hit Cooter's, I think they still have those 4 dollar Dixie pitchers at noon?"

Brian

"I like how you think..come on!"

(Scene Switch)

Standing out in front of Cooter Brown's in the uptown region of New Orleans, a small line has formed awaiting the opening of the noon happy hour.

Stranger dude in line fumbling with a rolling paper, trying to roll some tobacco.

Stranger Dude

"Damn, these papers don't want to roll...shit..."

Brian interrupting

"Here...give me that, it's not the papers man, it's the roller!"

Resetting the tobacco, he rolls it into a perfect smoke.

Stranger Dude

"Do I know you?"

Brian

"You do now, sorry if I'm into your shit there, just have a think about bad rolls...you would have hyperventilated on that just to get anything!"

Stranger Dude

"Well thanks...ah, here for the beer?"

Brian

"The cheap beer, need to get this party started some way...oh, my name is Brian, Brian Cramer."

Stranger Dude

"Joe Tucker, nice to meet you!

Joe notices school i.d.

Brian

"Yea, I don't see how they stay in business with some of these deals?"

Joe

"Oh, they do...this is there way of giving a little back...those pitchers...cost 'em about 75 cents each, they ain't hurtin!"

Sydney coming back from peeing on the wall

"Hey Brian...is that shit that happened this morning...is that gonna fuck up our average?"

Brian

"Who said we're average...fuck, we're geniuses, the world just hasn't noticed yet!"

Sydney

"Asleep at the wheel...again?"

Door to Cooter's unlocks and everybody starts going in. Freshly tapped pitchers of Dixie beer already lined up. People pooling together 4 bucks and heading to the tables with frosty glasses in tow. Sydney pours for Brian, they tap glasses.

Bryant

"Here's to grade point averages!"

Sydney

"Not!"

(1 Hour Later)

Brian and Sydney with a good buzz attempting to play darts. Sydney accidentally throws dart knocking a Bolo hat off the head of a brother.

Brother (Tyrone)

"Hey man, you better watch what the fuck your doing...you trying to pierce my brain or what?"

Brian

"Oh man, I'm so sorry, dart just slipped on me...you okay?

Brother (Tyrone

"My fucking hat ain't OK...it be crying, it be dieing, never be the same again..."

Brian picking up hat from floor, pulling lodged dart out.

"Hey, good as new, even got an extra air pocket in there, it lives!"

Brother (Tyrone)

"That's enough of your smart mouth, what you guys...Doctors...got them green smocks on, you performed some surgery on my hat without permission, you want to clean my teeth, too?

Brian

"No, we're just wanna be medical students, what about you?"

Tyrone

"Brain drugs, you can call me "the" pharmacist, what you need?"

Brian

"What are we talking here...pot, codeine, Percodans, pharmaceuticals...right?"

Tyrone

"No, I'm talking dopamine, serotonin, epinephrine, thyrozine, the hard core brain chemicals!"

Brian

"But, how do you extract something so internal to the brain?"

Tyrone

"Get your host, you bring your guest over, and draw it out of them, it's the mind over matter thing you have to get over..."

Brian

"So let me get this straight...you hold these people against their will and just have your way with the them?'

Tyrone

"Well, let's just say they're in a comatose state, ain't feeling nothing, not going anywhere anytime soon...you are their guest, we're at their party...get it?"

Brian

"So, how do you get them into a catatonic state, in the zone?"

Tyrone

"Got to just take care of business...there's a couple of different ways, but I start off with some shrooms all boiled down, add a little strawberry Kool Aid to cut the bite, get that Vagus nerve clocking a bit, and a lot of tenderness...they lose all their motor functions, and then you can just lead them around..."

Brian

"So, there is no synthesis, just straight up chemicals your extracting?"

Tyrone

"The most potent stuff on the planet, when you think about it...what does Coke do...release serotonin, cigarettes...dopamine, just like a runner's high, you extract it out of one bloodstream and shoot that crap up, man dude...put it  own a rice crispy, hell, dip your cigarette in it, it's the drop of adrenaline rush...all natural, the real deal!"

Sydney walks up.

"What's the talk man, you two jabbering 'bout something good?"

Brian

"oh, nothing...just a revelation of an idea, that Tyrone here has been toying around with."

Sydney

"Shit, let me in, I'm listening?"

Brian

"Well, in a nutshell, it has to do with extracting brain chemicals from people you find around, then placing them in a catatonic state, then reselling it on the...what would you call it Tyrone, the black market?"

Tyrone

"That's right, the Brother's market!"

Sydney

"That sounds crazy, how much can you extract?"

Tyrone

"Whatever you want, call your pace, assemble your market share...the skies the limit...just feed them the right stuff and watch things happen...right before your eyes..."

Sydney

"I'm sorry man, this is too twisted for my game, that's fucking kidnapping dude!"  

Tyrone

"They don't know that, they're in another world, completely content...no damage done, they just make the goodies!"

Bryan

"How much you get for a vial of say...Serotonin?"

Tyrone

"Like a vial would be like 10 milliliters, about 2000 dollars man...you use a little voltage to stimulate different parts of the body, just got to know where to place the pads, for what your planning to extract..."

Bryan

"And how do you collect this stuff anyway?"

Tyrone

"You can draw it right out of the brain, blood draw...then spin it just like they do at the plasma center."

Sydney

"So, how can we start something like this, this just seems too simple?"

Tyrone

"Go start rounding up your host, I'll cut you a deal on office space and your monitors, stuff like that, we could close on 30 percent on the kick back to me...I'll show you the ropes, the whole damn business...you liking this so far?"

Brian

"Let's just say I'm glued to the screen...both fascinated and listening!"

Tyrone

"Well there you go, good start, cause that's exactly how I got started, just listening, paying attention to details, asking questions...and don't forget, being a little selfish doesn't hurt either...there is competition, so you need to be able to hustle your routines."

Brian

"The way I look at it, I'm probably never going to be a brain surgeon, family kind of just pushed me into this shit!"

Tyrone

"I like you man, you got potential...not scared to move a play on the side-line, that's all cool with me...we all good, you hear me?"

Brain

"Yea, I hear you...so when we start class?"

Tyrone

"Tomorrow night, 610 Carrollton Avenue, Apartment G, about 8...that cool with you?"

Brian

"Sounds cool to me (tapping fist), see ya then..."

Walking out of Cooter's with Sydney.

Brian

"Sometimes you just got to take the opportunities when they come...where they lead you!"

Sydney

"In this case, probably no where good...dude, this is some sick shit, your playing with people's lives, it's a live flame on this one!"

Brian

"Look, I didn't, as a matter of fact I never asked you to participate...did I...just take a look, then make your assumptions...there, done!"

Sydney

"Well, you might need a second opinion, I'm here for you...just calm down!"

Brian

"This is true...couldn't of said it any better myself...come on, let's head home, gotta pee like a sprinkler head!"

(Scene Close)

Note: To all you real Doctors and Pre-Med students...this is just fiction...so just play along, okay? Thanks, KC