Kirk Carter@ Chew Bear Productions@ Copyright 2014
BRAIN HARVEST (17)
Calling Your Bluff
Int: Tulane Medical School-Professor Yardley's Class-11 A.M.
Professor Yardley
"If you remember when we were talking of divergence, that fine control required, like using the the fingers, which must be capable of delicate controlled motions of many varieties..."
Brian whispering to Sydney
"Talk about delicate controlled emotions...he's already making my nerves twitch...wonder when he's going to start talking about wienies again?"
Sydney to Brian
"I'm not a betting man, but you know it's coming..."
Brian to Sydney
"Yea, one hand on the desk, one hand on the meat..."
Professor Yardley
"Now the fibers from the motor area form into the Pyramidal Tract, that being...the tract that connects the cortex and the spinal cord, hence the Corticospinal Tract..."
Brian to Sydney
"Having fun yet?"
Sydney to Brian
"This is like Chinese water torture, only instead of water he's dripping acid on your head!"
Professor Yardley
There are roughly 150 thousand muscle fibers in one Pyramidal Cell...don't forget the Pyramidal Cell has control over all motion from the cortex to the spinal column."
Bell ringing, doors unlock
Yardley
"Okay guys, till Monday...the Corpus Callosum and the Basal Ganglia await your discovery!"
Brian walking out
"Like a fucking hemorrhage it does, this guy doesn't know when to quit...guy drives me nuts!"
Sydney
"Think of a really bad sit-com with no commercials...so where are we going now?"
Brian
"Well, back home...gotta take a shower and get ready for this afternoon..."
Sydney
"What's so pressing about this afternoon?"
Brian
"Got a picnic with Paula."
Sydney
"With Paula...or is Paula the picnic?"
Brian
"Depends on how this irons out...depends on what she has in the basket?"
Sydney
"Oh...I get it...a surprise lunch!"
Brian laughing
"Yea, it could be sandwiches and potato salad, or a hot dog on a bun?"
Sydney
"Sounds more like your hot dog in her bun!"
Brian
"Then I guess you were right?"
Sydney
"'Bout what?"
Brian
"Paula would be the picnic..."
(Scene Switch)
(Two Hours Later)
Ext: New Orleans-Shore of Lake Pontchartrain-Somewhere on Lakeshore Drive-2 P.M.
Brian and Paula sitting on sea wall eating po-boys, sharing a a quart of Dixie beer.
Brian
"So...what is it with this Wicken shit?"
Paula
"It's not shit, it's an ancient religion, a way of life!"
Brian
Sorry, with this Wicken religion, you can pretty much worship anywhere, huh?"
Paula
"Of course, the world is our church, natures the altar."
Brian
"Seems perfect, ever get called "Tree Hugger" or anything?"
Paula
Oh sure, comes with the territory, but you get use'd to it...what about you...other than you wanting to be a Brain Doctor?"
Brian
"A supposed Neurologist..."
Paula
"Yea that, what do you do?"
Brian
"To be honest, I've got kind of a dark side, doing some immoral stuff..."
Paula starts cracking up
"I knew it, I knew you were too good to be true, thank God for early on lakefront get together's...so what, now your going to lay me some bullshit about being the world's biggest spy huh...maybe some top secret organization of espinoge that you can't discuss, the lone drifter on a mission, working for a big syndicate?"
Brian
"No really, nothing like that, just some immoral activities..."
Paula
"Well, spill it out...I've heard 'em all...don't worry, I'm a great listener!"
Brian
"Well, we basically encourage people people off the street..."
Paula
"When you say encourage, what are you implying?"
Brian
"We meet them, try to get them friendly, slip them a mickey in their drink or just offer them a sample of something, get them to try this, and then when they are zoned out of their minds, we borrow them for a day or two, drain their body's of any neurological brain chemicals...things like Serotonin, Dopamen, whatever is in demand that day from our Lab Leader, that part is completely out of our hands..."
Paula
"So, let me see if I have this straight...you basically kidnap people, drain their bodies, and what...take them out some where in a cage far out of town and just...and just set them free...like some kind of wild animal?"
Brain
"In a nutshell...except we don't put them in a cage, we usually just drive them to Denny's for breakfast or to the bus station, pay the bill, say we're going to the bathroom and leave...told you it was kind of immoral!"
Paula
"For the Love of God, that's the sickest thing I've ever heard..."
Brian
"Well, you asked, so there it is!"
Paula
"Do...stupid question this is...what am I thinking, but do they...recover?"
Brian
"In a day or two I guess...other than a little unexplained missing time, they go back to normal."
Paula
"I'm assuming, this is illegal...I mean how much you get for taking all this risk?"
Brian
"Yes and no, kind of a new crime that the Police haven't exactly classified...yet anyway...perhaps criminal clinical procedures, medical maleficence...that including the intentional drugging, abduction, and like I said...the unapproved medical procedures...and for all of it my buddy and me make about 8 grand for three pick ups each week, takes about three hours a night, pretty routine once you get the hang of it!"
Paula
"So, you do this three days a week?"
Brian
"Depending, maybe four...and then we bring in more than one sometimes, too!"
Paula
"So, there's more than one at a time?"
Brian
"Our record is three...they're in no condition to drive, so the vehicle get's filled up pretty quick!"
Paula
"Well hell, by all means, I must check this out!"
Brian
"Really, are you serious?"
Paula
"Brian...not to be discrediting of what you just told me...but in all good conscious, I must see this for myself...I took a big chance dating you...I've been single a long time...if you get my drift...I really want to like you...so no matter what it is, if it's the truth...I can live with that...although I wished you had just told me you were an underground spy, I could deal with that...so when are you going to do another catch and release?"
Brian
"Tonight, round seven-thirty..."
(Scene Switch)
(Four Hours Later)
Brian, Sydney, and Paula pulling up and parking at 24 Hour Fitness Center.
Brian
"It's one of our favorites...are you sure your ready for this?"
Paula
"Shoot the moon honey...let's hit this bad boy!"
Brian
"Okay, first...let's go through a few procedures."
Paula
"Oh, let me get this straight...you mean you don't just go in there and start force feeding them and dragging them into the van?
Sydney
"It's all patterned from trial and error, you have to appear open and desirable...get their trust, then proceed slowly, very methodically."
Paula trying to regroup
"Okay, so this requires deception?"
Sydney
"On the highest order..."
Paula
"So, that we can get them high and take them bye-bye?"
(Everybody starts laughing)
Sydney
"Where did you get this chick...she's perfect!"
Brian
"Okay class clowns, now Paula...try to pay attention...we're just going to go in there...kind of check out the weights and the equipment, anybody from the place comes up, you just say your looking at the facility, nothing more, okay?"
Paula
"Yes sir....so what kind of people are you looking for?"
Sydney
Mostly people preoccupied with themselves, not really aggressive toward anyone, no instigation...just king of self-contained."
Paula
"So, you guys come in and try to connect, like long lost buddies, sort of...get their confidence?"
Brian
"Yea, they're kinda like ("Wow, I got lucky here and wasn't even trying!"), like money for nothing..."
Sydney
"Chicks are free...sorry, excuse the pun there...just do the vernacular, at this point they're ready for anything!"
Brian
"You induce trust, spontaneity, their natural impulses pop in, a long with a little curiosity, and BAM, your in the driver's seat, they're eating out of your hand...
Paula
"Got it!"
(Scene Switch)
All three walking into the 24 Hour Fitness club.
People on Stair-masters, exercise bikes, people working on weights, juice bar over in the corner
Brian spots guy helping a buff blonde headed girl holding a pair of large dumbbells
(Scene Switch)
Trainer Guy
"Now breath in, come on...pull the weight up...come on, over your head, okay hold...hold, all right now...slowly bring down the weight, exhale slowly, slowly...there you go!"
Buff Blonde Girl
"Man, you can really feel that burn when you bring it down slowly..."
Guy
"Where do you feel it?"
Girl
"In my tits, it's making my tits sore...you know, my breast...that whole area!"
Guy
"It's okay, sore tits are good, it's from your muscles getting all that fresh oxygen...okay, let's repeat!"
(Scene Switch)
Brian
"These two look interesting, why don't we walk over and get friendly...hey Sydney (busily pigging out at snack bar)...guard those Guaco chips...whatever the hell those green things are, come on Paula..."
(Scene Switch)
Brian and Paula make there way over to the couple
Guy
"Okay, now we are going to work on the tri-ceps, then the glutes."
Girl
"Did you say my glutes...what are they, are they flabby?"
Guy
"No, no they're just out of tone!"
Girl
"They don't have any tone...heck mine don't even make any noise!"
Guy sensing ditsy blonde air head
"Ah...right, well okay, let's see...pull the body over, now take the weight and pull straight up there on the side of your body...there you go, good girl!"
Girl
"I like being a good girl..."
Guy
"I'm sure you will, can, I mean could, I mean are...ah now...where were we?"
Brian interrupting
"Excuse me, didn't mean to interrupt, was just admiring her technique."
Guy
"Yea, I was too, I mean...no problem, it's cool...just trying to show her the ropes, get her started right!"
Girl
"He's my trainer, hey Dah it's weights....not ropes, but he's training me, I'm his student, we are trying to make my tits burn..."
Paula breaking in
"I've been there...well before my trainer here starting breaking me in!"
Guy laughing
"Oh, your a trainer, Hi I'm Bob...Bob Turner, 24 Hour fitness associate...here doing weights, cardio, a little reflexology..."
Brian
"So, you bulk up their torso's, get them winded, and tickle their feet?"
Guy (Bob) laughing
"Wish it was that easy, but everybody has their own ways of achieving that perfect body...so, how long have you been training?
Brian
"Well, she's one of my first, I'm just getting started."
Paula
"He's still just a virgin, but we'll be breaking the seal as soon as he's ready!"
Brian pushing Paula
"That girl, what's this, everybody a comedian all of a sudden?"
Paula
"No, it's this damn health drink he made for my program (Pulling strapped Thermos off Brian's shoulder)...can't get enough of it, you two should try this stuff, better for you than a smoothie, it really does wonders for your muscles..."
Girl
"Does it keep your tits from getting sore?"
Paula
"That too, I Love it!"
Guy
"Really, what's the secret?"
Brian looking wild-eyed at Paula
Sydney walking up from snack bar
"Hey man, got anymore of that?"
Brian
"Hey my friend, wait your turn, we have guest...company here!"
Paula continuing
"It's loaded with vita-nutrients and just wait till you hear about the good stuff that's inside...here guys, take a shot!"
Paula saunters off to smoothie table, picking up two small cups, stopping, turning her head toward guy and smiling. She proceeds to bend over, poking her her butt out, like a monkey style presentation, she proceeds to pour some of the strawberry shroom elixir into the cups.
Paula walks over and hands them each a cup
"Here, make yourselves happy!"
Both drinking the elixir, as Brian and Sydney just watch Paula work the room.
(10 Minutes Pass)
Guy
"This is really...really unusual, I feel happy, but yet I don't care, it doesn't matter, and then it does matter..."
Girl
"Student to trainer, where's my tits?"
Guy
"But because it matters doesn't matter, because life is beautiful and I just don't care!"
Paula
"That makes perfect sense, your a perfect man, a real dreamboat, I would do you in a moment if my boyfriend wasn't here...but you know... good healthy living is like that!"
Girl
"I don't know what's happening, but I wish everyone would quit moving around...everything...one...is kinda wavy and shit...oh my God!"
Paula putting her hands up (like what's next)
Brian mouthing back to Paula with drink commands accidentally blurts out
"Another hit!"
Paula
"Hey guys, a breath of fresh air completes the experience, is everybody ready?"
Guy
"I thought we were already outdoors, never seen wildlife in the gym!"
Girl
"We are outside on the inside of the world of our minds...my God and there's more...shit!"
Brian to Paula
"Sounds like you, only without the energy drink!"
Paula to Brian
"She's a spiritual woman, just bound up in her creative juices, kind of neat watching her unwind and express...chemically induced, but what the hell..."
Girl
"I can feel all the cosmic ventures brewing forth, the butterflies caressing the tree with their wings..."
Paula
"Oh boy...this is weirding "me" out!"
Sydney coming back from outside, from pulling van into entrance, to Brian
"Sir, have the Rose in position, you ready to load sir?"
Girl hearing Sydney
"Oh please, show me your Rose, the blossoms are amazing, the petals, the vivid colors of the rainbow Goddess..."
Brian
"Oh yea...I think we've been ready, let's go!"
(Scene Switch)
Guy on left back seat, girl on right back seat, Paula in the middle, with her arms around both of them.
Paula to Brian
"You just have to have a woman's purgative toward the venture...that is if chosen, most still don't have that advantage...but we're getting better, we're getting there!"
Brian to Paula
"Either way, you've definitely got the touch...shit you were working that room like a seasoned professional...so what did you think?"
Paula to Brian
"Beats making sandwiches, but I'm sure they are not all this simple?"
Brian to Paula
"Actually, some are even easier than this, just how you approach it that matters..."
Sydney to both
"Yea once, years ago, but by choice, I was looking at the butterflies and the trees...it was the only time I really tripped on acid..."
Brian
"Save it Syd, we're home..."
Brian pulls into back parking lot of new building.
Tyrone comes to the door
Tyrone seeing Paula for the first time, he assumes Brian brought him 2 girls and a guy
Tyrone
"Boy, you guys not be messing around, that's fucking amazing, just poppin back to the threesomes just like that...shit, like nobodies business you guys are something else!"
Paula slips out from between the hallucinating couple
"Hi, I'm not one of the space cadets here, new face otherwise..."
Brian
"Yea, this is my new recruit, ah this is Paula, Paula...Tyrone...please save your assumptions for the Gossip Queens...she's just a close friend, was just curious about the operation, we good with that?"
Tyrone
"I ain't got nothing going, I like women, Tyrone always like women...they wanna play the little game, like for real man, let's do it!"
Brian looking around at freshly painted blue walls, floors cleaned up, windows cleaned and shining.
"Wow, really like what you've done to the place...dig the blue!"
Tyrone undoing seat belts on hallucinating couple
"Cool man, thought you'd like it...worked my ass off this afternoon!"
Sydney finding Coo-Coo clock freshly painted and mounted on wall, pendulum swinging.
"Look at this shit, even got the bird in the air!"
Tyrone
"Little booger was a pain in the ass, damn bird full of spiders and shit, but finally just took a hose and washed it out, gave her a coat of paint, and brought that bitch back to life...I like it!"
Sydney
"Thanks man, I like it, too!
All of a sudden, the clock hits 11 o'clock, little freshly painted bird (still wet) comes out and spews paint all over Sydney who's standing in front.
Coo-Coo Bird
"Coo-coo, coo-coo, coo-coo..."
Sydney
"On second thought, I'd like to take a pellet gun to that fucking bird...look at my clothes man...fuck!"
Brian
"Bird's just showing you some Love man, enjoy the moment!"
Tyrone
"I'll have to adjust that later, but we have guest to attend to at the moment...so what do you really think...ah?"
Paula
"The names Paula."
Tyrone
"Like right Paula, boy you be spunky and cute as a button girl...Tyrone like that, so...what's it doing for you?"
Paula
"Doing?"
Tyrone
"Yea, like you want to hang out, make your sweet ass a little money, maybe Tyrone let you play with that sweet ass, Tyrone "knows" what a pretty white girl like you need...trust me!"
Paula laughing
"You do...well that's comforting, every white girl needs to know these things...got that big black junk a girl needs and desires you sexy thing!"
Tyrone leaning in
"Now you speaking brother Tyrone's language, we be on the same page...right?"
Paula
"Well, I can say this much, Brian doesn't bluff on this shit, but in my opinion...this stuff is exactly as he defined it, it's just a big ass mind game...like for real!"
Tyrone
"Oh yea honey, we do this shit for real, ain't nobody...and I mean nobody we can't do if we put our minds to it...understand me now sweet thing!"
Brian walking back in
"Yea, she was a skeptic, but she came out of the closet real quick!"
Tyrone
"Well, if you want, we'll be doing another one on Monday...that is if your interested in coming?"
Paula
"I don't know, I mean I have a "real" job, I'm only off on Fridays!"
Tyrone
"Real job...what you doing now woman...this is a real job, real money, good future...bitch you on the inside now, you hear Tyrone...you can't just dis Tyrone like that..."
Brian pissed
"Wait a minute my brotherly shitfaced fuckhead, you don't be talking shit like that to her...better clean it up Tyrone or you won't have anybody playing paddy wagon, you hear me...look, she manages a pretty upbeat deli, she is a take charge kind of woman...you bastard assed piece of shit self-centered street fucker, don't even fuck with me, understand?"
Tyrone
"No, you be pulling shit now...she could be making big money with Tyrone, but she'd rather be throwing Bologna on white bread, making fucking bird feed, what the fuck she think she is?"
Brian
"I'm sorry Paula, Tyrone talking out his ass...paint thinner must of got to him, let's go!"
Paula
"That's okay, I'm sorry I started a war here...ah Mister Tyrone, I really appreciate you letting me check out your operation here, but I have feelings for Brian...real ones...I had asked him to prove his side-line and he did, his story gelled...despite the generous offer...I'm committed to feeding the starved college masses with my meager salary...someone must throw the Bologna I'm afraid..."
Tyrone
"Yea, well...to each his own, sorry I popped off like that...but I thought you were looking for a new career, you know...in the medical business?"
Paula laughing
"Medical business...how long do you think your going to get away with this...do you really call this a career...come on dude?"
Tyrone
"Better get this bitch out of here, Tyrone be upset...nobody like it when Tyrone get upset...she put dissed on Tyrone's empire, I will exist forever understand me, you cheap ass white bread bitch, I will succeed and conquer, you understand Tyrone...you believe Tyrone..."
Sydney to Brian
"Sounds like someone need a piece of wafer?"
Brian to Sydney
"If it was up to me, I'd shove the whole thing in his mouth!"
Paula to Brian
"It's good, I believe you now...lets leave!
Tyrone to Brian
"Oh yea man, her's your checks from last round, don't spend it all in one place?"
"I'll keep that in mind...good night...come on gang!"
(Scene Close)
Paula
"Of course, the world is our church, natures the altar."
Brian
"Seems perfect, ever get called "Tree Hugger" or anything?"
Paula
Oh sure, comes with the territory, but you get use'd to it...what about you...other than you wanting to be a Brain Doctor?"
Brian
"A supposed Neurologist..."
Paula
"Yea that, what do you do?"
Brian
"To be honest, I've got kind of a dark side, doing some immoral stuff..."
Paula starts cracking up
"I knew it, I knew you were too good to be true, thank God for early on lakefront get together's...so what, now your going to lay me some bullshit about being the world's biggest spy huh...maybe some top secret organization of espinoge that you can't discuss, the lone drifter on a mission, working for a big syndicate?"
Brian
"No really, nothing like that, just some immoral activities..."
Paula
"Well, spill it out...I've heard 'em all...don't worry, I'm a great listener!"
Brian
"Well, we basically encourage people people off the street..."
Paula
"When you say encourage, what are you implying?"
Brian
"We meet them, try to get them friendly, slip them a mickey in their drink or just offer them a sample of something, get them to try this, and then when they are zoned out of their minds, we borrow them for a day or two, drain their body's of any neurological brain chemicals...things like Serotonin, Dopamen, whatever is in demand that day from our Lab Leader, that part is completely out of our hands..."
Paula
"So, let me see if I have this straight...you basically kidnap people, drain their bodies, and what...take them out some where in a cage far out of town and just...and just set them free...like some kind of wild animal?"
Brain
"In a nutshell...except we don't put them in a cage, we usually just drive them to Denny's for breakfast or to the bus station, pay the bill, say we're going to the bathroom and leave...told you it was kind of immoral!"
Paula
"For the Love of God, that's the sickest thing I've ever heard..."
Brian
"Well, you asked, so there it is!"
Paula
"Do...stupid question this is...what am I thinking, but do they...recover?"
Brian
"In a day or two I guess...other than a little unexplained missing time, they go back to normal."
Paula
"I'm assuming, this is illegal...I mean how much you get for taking all this risk?"
Brian
"Yes and no, kind of a new crime that the Police haven't exactly classified...yet anyway...perhaps criminal clinical procedures, medical maleficence...that including the intentional drugging, abduction, and like I said...the unapproved medical procedures...and for all of it my buddy and me make about 8 grand for three pick ups each week, takes about three hours a night, pretty routine once you get the hang of it!"
Paula
"So, you do this three days a week?"
Brian
"Depending, maybe four...and then we bring in more than one sometimes, too!"
Paula
"So, there's more than one at a time?"
Brian
"Our record is three...they're in no condition to drive, so the vehicle get's filled up pretty quick!"
Paula
"Well hell, by all means, I must check this out!"
Brian
"Really, are you serious?"
Paula
"Brian...not to be discrediting of what you just told me...but in all good conscious, I must see this for myself...I took a big chance dating you...I've been single a long time...if you get my drift...I really want to like you...so no matter what it is, if it's the truth...I can live with that...although I wished you had just told me you were an underground spy, I could deal with that...so when are you going to do another catch and release?"
Brian
"Tonight, round seven-thirty..."
(Scene Switch)
(Four Hours Later)
Brian, Sydney, and Paula pulling up and parking at 24 Hour Fitness Center.
Brian
"It's one of our favorites...are you sure your ready for this?"
Paula
"Shoot the moon honey...let's hit this bad boy!"
Brian
"Okay, first...let's go through a few procedures."
Paula
"Oh, let me get this straight...you mean you don't just go in there and start force feeding them and dragging them into the van?
Sydney
"It's all patterned from trial and error, you have to appear open and desirable...get their trust, then proceed slowly, very methodically."
Paula trying to regroup
"Okay, so this requires deception?"
Sydney
"On the highest order..."
Paula
"So, that we can get them high and take them bye-bye?"
(Everybody starts laughing)
Sydney
"Where did you get this chick...she's perfect!"
Brian
"Okay class clowns, now Paula...try to pay attention...we're just going to go in there...kind of check out the weights and the equipment, anybody from the place comes up, you just say your looking at the facility, nothing more, okay?"
Paula
"Yes sir....so what kind of people are you looking for?"
Sydney
Mostly people preoccupied with themselves, not really aggressive toward anyone, no instigation...just king of self-contained."
Paula
"So, you guys come in and try to connect, like long lost buddies, sort of...get their confidence?"
Brian
"Yea, they're kinda like ("Wow, I got lucky here and wasn't even trying!"), like money for nothing..."
Sydney
"Chicks are free...sorry, excuse the pun there...just do the vernacular, at this point they're ready for anything!"
Brian
"You induce trust, spontaneity, their natural impulses pop in, a long with a little curiosity, and BAM, your in the driver's seat, they're eating out of your hand...
Paula
"Got it!"
(Scene Switch)
All three walking into the 24 Hour Fitness club.
People on Stair-masters, exercise bikes, people working on weights, juice bar over in the corner
Brian spots guy helping a buff blonde headed girl holding a pair of large dumbbells
(Scene Switch)
Trainer Guy
"Now breath in, come on...pull the weight up...come on, over your head, okay hold...hold, all right now...slowly bring down the weight, exhale slowly, slowly...there you go!"
Buff Blonde Girl
"Man, you can really feel that burn when you bring it down slowly..."
Guy
"Where do you feel it?"
Girl
"In my tits, it's making my tits sore...you know, my breast...that whole area!"
Guy
"It's okay, sore tits are good, it's from your muscles getting all that fresh oxygen...okay, let's repeat!"
(Scene Switch)
Brian
"These two look interesting, why don't we walk over and get friendly...hey Sydney (busily pigging out at snack bar)...guard those Guaco chips...whatever the hell those green things are, come on Paula..."
(Scene Switch)
Brian and Paula make there way over to the couple
Guy
"Okay, now we are going to work on the tri-ceps, then the glutes."
Girl
"Did you say my glutes...what are they, are they flabby?"
Guy
"No, no they're just out of tone!"
Girl
"They don't have any tone...heck mine don't even make any noise!"
Guy sensing ditsy blonde air head
"Ah...right, well okay, let's see...pull the body over, now take the weight and pull straight up there on the side of your body...there you go, good girl!"
Girl
"I like being a good girl..."
Guy
"I'm sure you will, can, I mean could, I mean are...ah now...where were we?"
Brian interrupting
"Excuse me, didn't mean to interrupt, was just admiring her technique."
Guy
"Yea, I was too, I mean...no problem, it's cool...just trying to show her the ropes, get her started right!"
Girl
"He's my trainer, hey Dah it's weights....not ropes, but he's training me, I'm his student, we are trying to make my tits burn..."
Paula breaking in
"I've been there...well before my trainer here starting breaking me in!"
Guy laughing
"Oh, your a trainer, Hi I'm Bob...Bob Turner, 24 Hour fitness associate...here doing weights, cardio, a little reflexology..."
Brian
"So, you bulk up their torso's, get them winded, and tickle their feet?"
Guy (Bob) laughing
"Wish it was that easy, but everybody has their own ways of achieving that perfect body...so, how long have you been training?
Brian
"Well, she's one of my first, I'm just getting started."
Paula
"He's still just a virgin, but we'll be breaking the seal as soon as he's ready!"
Brian pushing Paula
"That girl, what's this, everybody a comedian all of a sudden?"
Paula
"No, it's this damn health drink he made for my program (Pulling strapped Thermos off Brian's shoulder)...can't get enough of it, you two should try this stuff, better for you than a smoothie, it really does wonders for your muscles..."
Girl
"Does it keep your tits from getting sore?"
Paula
"That too, I Love it!"
Guy
"Really, what's the secret?"
Brian looking wild-eyed at Paula
Sydney walking up from snack bar
"Hey man, got anymore of that?"
Brian
"Hey my friend, wait your turn, we have guest...company here!"
Paula continuing
"It's loaded with vita-nutrients and just wait till you hear about the good stuff that's inside...here guys, take a shot!"
Paula saunters off to smoothie table, picking up two small cups, stopping, turning her head toward guy and smiling. She proceeds to bend over, poking her her butt out, like a monkey style presentation, she proceeds to pour some of the strawberry shroom elixir into the cups.
Paula walks over and hands them each a cup
"Here, make yourselves happy!"
Both drinking the elixir, as Brian and Sydney just watch Paula work the room.
(10 Minutes Pass)
Guy
"This is really...really unusual, I feel happy, but yet I don't care, it doesn't matter, and then it does matter..."
Girl
"Student to trainer, where's my tits?"
Guy
"But because it matters doesn't matter, because life is beautiful and I just don't care!"
Paula
"That makes perfect sense, your a perfect man, a real dreamboat, I would do you in a moment if my boyfriend wasn't here...but you know... good healthy living is like that!"
Girl
"I don't know what's happening, but I wish everyone would quit moving around...everything...one...is kinda wavy and shit...oh my God!"
Paula putting her hands up (like what's next)
Brian mouthing back to Paula with drink commands accidentally blurts out
"Another hit!"
Paula
"Hey guys, a breath of fresh air completes the experience, is everybody ready?"
Guy
"I thought we were already outdoors, never seen wildlife in the gym!"
Girl
"We are outside on the inside of the world of our minds...my God and there's more...shit!"
Brian to Paula
"Sounds like you, only without the energy drink!"
Paula to Brian
"She's a spiritual woman, just bound up in her creative juices, kind of neat watching her unwind and express...chemically induced, but what the hell..."
Girl
"I can feel all the cosmic ventures brewing forth, the butterflies caressing the tree with their wings..."
Paula
"Oh boy...this is weirding "me" out!"
Sydney coming back from outside, from pulling van into entrance, to Brian
"Sir, have the Rose in position, you ready to load sir?"
Girl hearing Sydney
"Oh please, show me your Rose, the blossoms are amazing, the petals, the vivid colors of the rainbow Goddess..."
Brian
"Oh yea...I think we've been ready, let's go!"
(Scene Switch)
Guy on left back seat, girl on right back seat, Paula in the middle, with her arms around both of them.
Paula to Brian
"You just have to have a woman's purgative toward the venture...that is if chosen, most still don't have that advantage...but we're getting better, we're getting there!"
Brian to Paula
"Either way, you've definitely got the touch...shit you were working that room like a seasoned professional...so what did you think?"
Paula to Brian
"Beats making sandwiches, but I'm sure they are not all this simple?"
Brian to Paula
"Actually, some are even easier than this, just how you approach it that matters..."
Sydney to both
"Yea once, years ago, but by choice, I was looking at the butterflies and the trees...it was the only time I really tripped on acid..."
Brian
"Save it Syd, we're home..."
Brian pulls into back parking lot of new building.
Tyrone comes to the door
Tyrone seeing Paula for the first time, he assumes Brian brought him 2 girls and a guy
Tyrone
"Boy, you guys not be messing around, that's fucking amazing, just poppin back to the threesomes just like that...shit, like nobodies business you guys are something else!"
Paula slips out from between the hallucinating couple
"Hi, I'm not one of the space cadets here, new face otherwise..."
Brian
"Yea, this is my new recruit, ah this is Paula, Paula...Tyrone...please save your assumptions for the Gossip Queens...she's just a close friend, was just curious about the operation, we good with that?"
Tyrone
"I ain't got nothing going, I like women, Tyrone always like women...they wanna play the little game, like for real man, let's do it!"
Brian looking around at freshly painted blue walls, floors cleaned up, windows cleaned and shining.
"Wow, really like what you've done to the place...dig the blue!"
Tyrone undoing seat belts on hallucinating couple
"Cool man, thought you'd like it...worked my ass off this afternoon!"
Sydney finding Coo-Coo clock freshly painted and mounted on wall, pendulum swinging.
"Look at this shit, even got the bird in the air!"
Tyrone
"Little booger was a pain in the ass, damn bird full of spiders and shit, but finally just took a hose and washed it out, gave her a coat of paint, and brought that bitch back to life...I like it!"
Sydney
"Thanks man, I like it, too!
All of a sudden, the clock hits 11 o'clock, little freshly painted bird (still wet) comes out and spews paint all over Sydney who's standing in front.
Coo-Coo Bird
"Coo-coo, coo-coo, coo-coo..."
Sydney
"On second thought, I'd like to take a pellet gun to that fucking bird...look at my clothes man...fuck!"
Brian
"Bird's just showing you some Love man, enjoy the moment!"
Tyrone
"I'll have to adjust that later, but we have guest to attend to at the moment...so what do you really think...ah?"
Paula
"The names Paula."
Tyrone
"Like right Paula, boy you be spunky and cute as a button girl...Tyrone like that, so...what's it doing for you?"
Paula
"Doing?"
Tyrone
"Yea, like you want to hang out, make your sweet ass a little money, maybe Tyrone let you play with that sweet ass, Tyrone "knows" what a pretty white girl like you need...trust me!"
Paula laughing
"You do...well that's comforting, every white girl needs to know these things...got that big black junk a girl needs and desires you sexy thing!"
Tyrone leaning in
"Now you speaking brother Tyrone's language, we be on the same page...right?"
Paula
"Well, I can say this much, Brian doesn't bluff on this shit, but in my opinion...this stuff is exactly as he defined it, it's just a big ass mind game...like for real!"
Tyrone
"Oh yea honey, we do this shit for real, ain't nobody...and I mean nobody we can't do if we put our minds to it...understand me now sweet thing!"
Brian walking back in
"Yea, she was a skeptic, but she came out of the closet real quick!"
Tyrone
"Well, if you want, we'll be doing another one on Monday...that is if your interested in coming?"
Paula
"I don't know, I mean I have a "real" job, I'm only off on Fridays!"
Tyrone
"Real job...what you doing now woman...this is a real job, real money, good future...bitch you on the inside now, you hear Tyrone...you can't just dis Tyrone like that..."
Brian pissed
"Wait a minute my brotherly shitfaced fuckhead, you don't be talking shit like that to her...better clean it up Tyrone or you won't have anybody playing paddy wagon, you hear me...look, she manages a pretty upbeat deli, she is a take charge kind of woman...you bastard assed piece of shit self-centered street fucker, don't even fuck with me, understand?"
Tyrone
"No, you be pulling shit now...she could be making big money with Tyrone, but she'd rather be throwing Bologna on white bread, making fucking bird feed, what the fuck she think she is?"
Brian
"I'm sorry Paula, Tyrone talking out his ass...paint thinner must of got to him, let's go!"
Paula
"That's okay, I'm sorry I started a war here...ah Mister Tyrone, I really appreciate you letting me check out your operation here, but I have feelings for Brian...real ones...I had asked him to prove his side-line and he did, his story gelled...despite the generous offer...I'm committed to feeding the starved college masses with my meager salary...someone must throw the Bologna I'm afraid..."
Tyrone
"Yea, well...to each his own, sorry I popped off like that...but I thought you were looking for a new career, you know...in the medical business?"
Paula laughing
"Medical business...how long do you think your going to get away with this...do you really call this a career...come on dude?"
Tyrone
"Better get this bitch out of here, Tyrone be upset...nobody like it when Tyrone get upset...she put dissed on Tyrone's empire, I will exist forever understand me, you cheap ass white bread bitch, I will succeed and conquer, you understand Tyrone...you believe Tyrone..."
Sydney to Brian
"Sounds like someone need a piece of wafer?"
Brian to Sydney
"If it was up to me, I'd shove the whole thing in his mouth!"
Paula to Brian
"It's good, I believe you now...lets leave!
Tyrone to Brian
"Oh yea man, her's your checks from last round, don't spend it all in one place?"
"I'll keep that in mind...good night...come on gang!"
(Scene Close)
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