Brain Harvest (16) New Feathers

Kirk Carter@ Chew Bear Productions@ Copyright 2014

BRAIN HARVEST (16)

New Feathers

Int: Ding Wing's Main Office-New Orleans East-Downman Road-Thursday-7 a.m.

Ding Wing (Chief Manager) and Tyrone discussing new location for medical lab.

Ding Wing

"These things are gonna happen...I thought for sure that location wasn't a problem...it looked perfect, but somebody talked."

Tyrone

"Shit, I can't believe they picked me up...you know they could have pushed those charges on me, but the D.A. was too chicken shit, afraid of a cultural riot or something...they just let me go!"

Ding Wing

There is a reason for everything...we were already generating too much activity over there...they would have gotten suspicious eventually...so I've decided to spread this out a bit, I've got a piece of property over an Loyola and 6th street...it's an old storefront with an apartment up top...lot's of hidden parking in the back, bigger main floor, you should take the boys and check it out!"

Tyrone

"No problem, but what about moving all that medical equipment?"

Ding Wing

"Nothing that a few boxes, some throw clothes, and a little heavy manual labor can't take of..."

Tyrone

"So, I can live there, too?"

Ding Wing

"It will be just like the old place, except I would like to continue paying the rent there for a couple of months till things calm down...they'll still think your living there and won't get nosy about you moving all of a sudden...so how are my medical students holding up?"

Tyrone

"A little edgy, but that's the way they always are...always scared you might shoot them if they don't cooperate..."

Ding Wing

"Well, they are getting paid...don't know what they're worried about?"

Tyrone

They still have a lot of learning to do and they need to make a lot more pick-ups before I would consider them seasoned...a lot of learning to do...so when did you want to make this move anyway?"

Ding Wing

"About 1 o'clock today..."

Tyroon

"Why today...during the day?"

Ding Wing

"When no one will think to look....everybody is at work, school, doing things...I already have the U-Haul rented, get the boys to help you!"

Tyrone

"That might be a problem...I don't know how to contact Brian during the day...Brian's a little restrictive when it comes to his phone usage."

Ding Wing

"What...has the boy heard of a cell phone yet?"

Tyrone

"It's not that, he's worried about calls being tracked."

Ding Wing

"Well, figure out a way to contact him, we don't have all day...you know where he lives?"

Tyrone

"Yea, but I've never actually been over there, by Tulane...I guess I could go see?"

Ding Wing

"There you go, just drop in and see if he's home, what's the harm...and if you do get him, meet me over in the back of the old apartment about 1 o'clock, drop me a call and I'll treat some lunch!"

Tyrone

"Sounds like a deal, let me get going..."

(Fist Tap)

(1 Hour Later)

(Scene Switch)

Tyrone just parked on Broadway Avenue

Staring at all the hot co-eds roaming around

Tyrone making comment

"Hey sweet thing, give me some of that good chicken baby, like me some thigh meat Mama!

Continued walking, finally finds Brian and Sydney's apartment, knocking on door.

Sydney answering

"Oh my goodness, look who the Cat dragged in...what up man?"

Tyrone

"Look, hate to rush the deal, but we are moving the medical lab this afternoon and we need your help, you up for this?"

Sydney

"Come in man...ah your going to have to front this with Brian?"

Brian coming down the stairs

"You rang Sir...let me guess...ah someone's moving and you need physical labor?"


Tyrone

"Yea, kinda sudden, Boss already got truck, wants to get me and the stuff out of there this afternoon...you guys available?"


Brian

"I just Love shit like this...I get to answer the all important question...do we have a choice?"


Tyrone

"Well no, but if you. pretend that you willingly volunteered then it won't make me feel so bad for making you do it in the first place!"


Sydney laughing

"I think that was the most logical thing I've ever heard you say..."


Tyrone

"Thanks...I have my moments...so can you meet me over at the old apartment, say about 1 o'clock?"


Brian


"Well, since we don't have a choice, there seems to be no wrong answer here, my mind is made up...we're coming!"



Tyrone


"Great...look, like to stay and hang, but I gotta go, later!"



Brian



"What a fucking idiot!"

Sydney

"No shit..."



(Scene Switch)



Ext: Tyrone's Old Apartment-1 p.m.



Tyrone backing up U-Haul truck into back yard, starts loading it up with his personal stuff.
Brian and Sydney show up, walking around watching Tyrone going through his stuff.


Tyrone

"Hey, you guys gonna help or watch?"


Brian

"We don't need any help watching!"


Sydney

"Yea, I can watch everything from here!"


Brian

"We'll let you know if we need something!"


Tyrone

"You fuckers better start putting shit in the truck...we ain't got all day!"


Brian

"You seem to be doing just fine..."


Sydney

"Yea, excellent job...your like a pro at this huh...like league quality!"


Tyrone

"I'm going to league you in the ass if you don't come help me..."


Brian

"Okay, but let's share the load now, no cheating."


Tyrone

"Twisted-ass fuckers!"


Brian pointing to new Odyssey van

"By the way, did you like my new purchase?"


Tyrone

"Let me take a wild guess...you paid 10 G's for it?"


Brian

"Even, amazing guess!"


Tyrone

"Signed that check, drove it off the lot?"


Brian

"Named her, too!"


Tyrone

"Your rad man, what did you call her...it was a girl, huh?"


Brian

"Rose...blue like a rose...I'm loving it...man you got a lot of shit!"


(1 Hour Later)


The gang has just finished loading up the U-haul with his stuff and the medical clinic.


Tyrone

"All that's left to do is seal up the false wall, the bookcase door, and nobody (beading some caulk from a gun) knows nothing!"


Brian

"So, your just going to vacate, just like that?"


Tyrone

"We're going to ride out the rest of the lease...about another two months, that way...nobody suspect anything, nobody come lookin for me!"


Brian

"Your just not home..."


Tyrone

"Exactly!"


(Scene Switch)


Pulling U-haul truck up to the back of the new building on Loyala and 6th Street.
It's an old store (a clock shop) with a front glass showcase, painter's tarp draped over the edges.


Tyrone

"Whoa, look at the size of this place!"


Brian

"Looks like somebody could use a fresh coat of paint?"


Brian walking back, through several rooms, opening other back door back out to the courtyard and to the other side of a huge parking garage

"Sure beat the shit out of the old apartment, you could make a hotel out of this place!"


Sydney walking around in the front room finding a box of old clocks in it, seeing a coo-coo clock in there, he pulls it out of the box

 "Bet this bird hasn't been wound up in a while."

He starts to wind it up by pulling braided chain through winding pulley.
Moves the hands to midnight, bird pops out.

Sydney

"Dirty Bird, don't look at me like that!"


Brian

"What do you think?"


Tyrone

"This is some new digs all right shit...we should be up and running by sundown, can you remember this place...how we got over here?"


Brian

"So, I assume you'll be wanting some guest for tonight?"


Tyrone

"No, give Rose her new assignment tomorrow night...I want to enjoy one peaceful evening just getting everything unpacked, maybe having a little sprucing up party...or in other words...leave me be okay?"


Brian

"By the way, you know all them extra wafers we made from those Bowling Bimbo's the other night...do we get any extra for those?"


Tyrone

"You mean, the one's you almost drained to death?"


Brian

"Well yea, thought there might be something extra for Sydney and me?"


Suddenly Mercedes shows up in back parking lot.


Tyrone

"Oh shit, I didn't know he was coming...ah, you two...go out the front!"


Brian

"What's wrong, we're big boys...don't think we can handle ourselves...what is he, royalty or something?" 


Tyrone

"Yea, something like that...look man, you have to go...really man!"


Sydney trying front door

"Looks like it's all nailed up or glued, all I know is that this fuckers stuck!"


Brian

"Look man...don't crap in your pants, we'll come out through the other back door, come on Syd..."


All of a sudden they hear a voice (Ding Wing) behind them.

"Excuse me gentlemen, going somewhere?"


Brian turning around

"Oh, I'm sorry, you sort of snuck up behind me...ah I'm Brian and this is my associate Sydney here, and you?"


Ding Wing

"I am the CEO of this little chemical club, this gathering so to speak...wanted to thank you boys for your avid and impressive participation...oh, they call me D.W., how nice to make your acquaintance!"


Brian

"Likewise, so you are like the financier and operator, huh?"


Ding Wing

"And one of the principles and co-founders to this technology..."


Brian

"Co-founder...ah, where is your partner in the group?"


Ding Wing

"A most unfortunate sequence of misguided circumstances has brought dear George to a most painful demise I'm afraid...but time heals, I have forgotten over things that have occurred...no ill will toward his unthinkable passing...things happen you know?"


Brian hesitantly

"Of course, of course...life must go on, there's always another day, for most of us anyway..."


Sydney

"So, are we the lucky one's who help grease your checkbook?"


Brian's eyes roll back

"Sydney please, I'm sorry D.W. sir, please excuse my blatant friend here...coothe is not one of his better traits!"


D.W. laughing

"Oh, no harm done...he does seem a little spirited...perhaps that's the secret to your unique  system of catch and release...you work well as you play off one another, never taking this nasty business too seriously...not to the point where you start to actually feel any remorse...is that a close assessment?"


Brian

"That's it D.W., you nailed it!"


Ding Wing

"Well, in that case, I can assure you..perhaps grease was a bit too blatant, lacking complexity, no...I would prefer that you think of yourselves as my magic oil of strength, oil of worship, the very busy gears of production, the vital strength that constitutes success...thereby making this progressive organization strong and surefooted...no my boys, grease simply does not bespeak of your devout importance!"


Sydney whispering to Brian

"He could have stopped at oil of worship..."


Brian to Sydney

"Talk about over-kill...gees?"


Brian out loud


"Well, we've got you all moved in...Tyrone I believe has got a few cables to hook up, and we will be bringing you a new client tomorrow night...once again, it was so nice to meet you...and also...good night to you Tyrone, bye!"


Sydney

"Yes Mister D...glad we could lubricate you!"




Tyrone sarcastically rolling his eyes 


"Always the pleasure...till we meet again in the moon light hours my son!"


As Brian and Sydney get into Odyssey


Sydney

"Talk about giving me the weeby-jeebys, I feel like I need an oil change, yuk!"


Brian

"I'm sure he's quite a charming man once you get to know him, like escargot the first time... also remind me to never take you anywhere in the public...your worse than a child!"


Sydney

"I never said I had manners...when did I say I fit in...never said nothing about manners..."


Brian

"Lubricants...boy, that's a first!"



(Scene Close)

Brain Harvest (15) Paula's Persuasion

Kirk Carter@ Chew Bear Productions@ Copyright 2014

BRAIN HARVEST (15)

Paula's Persuasion 

Int: Brian and Sydney riding on city bus, suddenly Brian sees a blue Honda Odyssey at Dealer Joe's car lot. 

Brian

"We're getting off here, I found my Rose..."

Sydney

"Bout time you pulled out of your coma...you know...still kinda a weird riding on the bus...the bus thing got me all messed up!"

Brian

"Think of it this way, it gives you a different perspective...you have time to stop and smell the roses!

Sydney

"I was thinking, stop and smell the urine, the unwashed butt cracks, the unattended feet!"

Brian

"Your so tunnel visioned, narrow-minded my medical psycho, you don't realize something very important...you never smell your own ass when your driving alone...do you?"

Sydney

"I would if I ever drove alone, shit...I don't even have a car and I'm always driving with you!"

Brian

"Don't be hard on yourself because your not a leader, just practice...play with yourself more often!"

Sydney

"With what?"

Brian

"Small Gopher's, rabid squirrels, road kill...develop those skills that will follow you!"

Sydney

"To what...?

Brian

"A career in business management, an approved SSI, or if all else fails perhaps a tenured position with the university...but, you really don't want that...the hours are horrific...you have to shower like...every morning...constantly yelling at students that don't want to listen...just not you at all!"

Salesman finally walking up

"Tony Kirby, welcome to the fantastic world of Dealer Joe's, see anything you like?"

Brian hesitantly

"Hey Tony, Brian...lookin at this Blue Odyssey, what you get me on this?"

Tony

"Owww, this baby be sweet, this be special, you got good taste my man, perhaps I can let her slide with a thousand down, 64 months at 32%...let's say $8900 cash, what you sweet on, looka...got all the bells and whistles, fully loaded, and get this...only 89 thousand miles on her...hardly driven...got two sliding side doors, great family car, this baby's in excellent condition?"


Brian

"Yea, I like the sliding doors on each side, perfect for bring friends in and out."


Tony

Like I said, great family car...Brian, you got family?"


Brian

"Well, off and on, I do a lot of Sabbaticals and prayer meetings..."


Sydney looking in back

"Wow Brian, lots of seat belts, lighters on each door."


Brian

"Can't have enough seat belts and lighters."


Tony

"Like I always say "Safety First"..."


(10 Minutes Later)


After coming back from test drive


Brian

"Okay, let's talk...can we get this thing off the lot for ten thousand?"


Tony

Let's see what we can work out here...did I mention that we have some nifty financing here at the low cost leader...Dealer Joe's!"


Brian

"Yea, sounds really nifty...look, just reduce the price so the title and tax comes to ten thousand...you do know how to do the numbers for that, right?"


Tony

"Well, yes I can price down a bit...come with me."


Sydney 

"Isn't it true Tony, you make most of your money off of financing?"


Brian

Syd...stay out of this, we don't even know if he knows how to subtract yet...don't confuse the dude!"

(1 Hour Later)

In office Brian finally ends up not only originating the deal, but also signing it


Brian

"So, see...$8452, plus the licence and tax comes exactly to $10 thousand dollars...see how easy that was?"


Tony

"Ah...sure, are you sure you don't want to just finance this?"


Brian laughing

"No...thanks for asking, now here is a check already made out to cash for $10 thousand dollars, I'm just going to sign it to Dealer Joe's, and everybody is happy...you happy Tony?"


Tony

"I would have been a lot happier if you would have just financed it!"


Brian

"I'm sure you would...take care..."


Sydney to Brian

"I told you...they live for that financing...they get really annoyed when you pay cash!"


Brian

"I know, I know..."


(Scene Switch)

(2 Hours Later)


Back at Brian and Sydney's apartment

Brian coming out of bathroom, slightly dressed up


Sydney

"What's the occasion?"


Brian

"Taking the Rose out for her inaugural date night journey...for a previously scheduled date with that Paula girl I met the other night at Luigi's."


Sydney

"What am I suppose to do, sit here and twiddle my thumbs?"


Brian

"No hide under the passenger seat and listen to all our heavy breathing...or, you can cuddle up to a good book, like War and Peace, a handful of sobbing tissues, as you work your way through all the great battles...sniffling, crying, feeling sorry for yourself for not setting up a little activity...there are a lot of good catches around this campus...shit man, it's walking distance to a lonely girl who probably also has a fistful of tissues...you can sob-share with each other, bang like rabbits, and even have an after bang pity-party...it's all in the cards man, you can do this!"


Sydney

"You think you've got me all figured out, huh...so, do I get suicidal next...do myself in?"


Brian

"No, just reflect on that last girl you let get away...you know, masturbate a lot and get over it!"


Sydney

"Yea, that's a comforting thought...gonna really look forward to that..."


Brian

"How do I look?"


Sydney

"I'd do you, but you know, with our religious differences, you probably wouldn't put out on the first date?"


Brian

"Your probably right...I'd wanna get to know you first...then share promise rings, charm bracelets, I'm big on tradition...hey have a good one...don't wait up!"


(Scene Switch)


Brian pulling up to Paula's apartment, knocking on door, she answers

"Hello first time fellow!"


Brian

"Hello First time girl..."


Paula

"Can we make that the last time we ever use that phrase?"


Brian

"Of course, you nervous?"


Paula

"Terribly!"


Brian

"Ready to be whisked off for a special evening?"


Paula

"Where are you whisking me to?"


Brian

"It was just a frame of reference, I really thought you'd be the kind of girl who wouldn't tolerate anyone whisking them anywhere!"


Paula

"You'd be wrong...whisk me baby...it's been a while!


Brian

But then, I suck at character studies, my frame of reference is out of calibration...and I'm taking you to Ruth's Chris Steak House for openers...thought you might like to get away from the deli and that insane world of processed meats?"


Paula

"What did I do to deserve that?"


Brian

"I said I was a little out of calibration, I never said it didn't work!"


Paula

"Yea well...you get my brain all full of marbled protein and strong drink, and I'm liable to have my way with you if your not careful?"


Brian

"That was the general idea...molest me please!"


Paula

"A man, with a game plan...I'm loving it already...of course, what could I do without an after dinner counter treat?"


Brian

"How do you plan on countering my Dear?"


Paula

"Hmm, let's see how dinner goes...it'll be a surprise!"


Brian

"Fair enough..."


(Scene Switch)

(Two Hours Later)


Driving over to an area of Audubon Park, to a drive called the Riverfront Butterfly


Brian

"I live right down the street from here."


Paula

"Do you, well up ahead there is a shrine which bespeaks the struggles of the worshippers of the Earth and all it's natural energy...everything that grows and nurtures..."


Brian

"Whoa, that sounds kind of heavy...when did all this start?"


Paula

"Oh, from when I was a child...by the way, that dinner was awesome...remember when that lady was spearing that rib eye with her salad fork and eating around it like an ice cream cone?"


Brian

"Yea, like eat or be eaten, wasn't sure who was going to win out there...her or the meat?"


Paula

"I don't think she'd ever seen a piece of meat that big!"


Brian

"So, what was your counter for evening...did you want to go dancing or something?"


Paula

"This is my counter..we're almost there, the shrine...you see, when I was little, when my Mom was still alive, we would go and worship nature...the energy of it, the planet...Brian...I'm a Wicken!"


Brian

"Your a Witch?"


Paula

"No, a Wicken, the religious follows of Earth and nature, and all it's creatures."


Brian

"Sounds more like a cult?"


Paula

"Oh no, the traditions go back eons, everything is flowing, it's cosmic energy, like life finding itself, each person finding their own personal passage to eternal life, like no two raindrops, each perceives at one's pace...no patterns...hardly a cult..."


Brian facetiously 

"Well that sounds just...just fascinating!"


Paula

"On a personal journey, it feeds those things that are naturally put there by the spirits to nurture you.

(10 Minutes Later)

Walking through the rows of old Oak trees, Brian grabs Paula by the waist and hoist her up onto the sitting limb of a tree, putting his face into her lap.


Paula

"What has you disturbed, I can sense something?"


Brian

It's just things...my way of life, things I've been doing...the things I do, it's just not me...I'm all involved in the wrongs things!"



Paula embracing his face with her hands

"What kind of wrong things?"


Brian

"It's too complicated to discuss, but just image how people dig their own little holes for themselves, climb in, never knowing the way they got in, or knowing the way out?"


Paula

"Look...find peace through acknowledgement, through that you find Love...which touches your heart, springing eternal gifts...whatever is bothering you is a misgiving...it can be pushed aside for the truth and reasoning to why you exist...you do have purpose...just ask the spirits and you will find it!


Brian

"You make it sound wonderful, almost too simplistic?"


Paula

"And it is, all for the taking, just reach up and explore...they above, they are within us, they wish to help...but they will not come till you make an honorable request..."


(1 Hour Later)


Brian and Paula at Paula's front door

Brian

"Well, honestly...I had a great time!"


Paula

"Oh, same here...most definitely...short lived, but hopefully we can make a day of it soon..."


Brian

"Do you have any days off?"


Paula

"Friday, got a few things to do in the morning..."


Brian

Got school in the morning..."


Paula

"An odd convenience, wanna try an afternoon?"


Brian

"Maybe just hang by the lake?"


Paula

"Sure, we'll do a picnic...I'll make you something special...my Mom cooked like the bomb..."


Brian

"No cold cuts, no processed meat?"


Paula

"Just the wonders of me preparing you the perfect sandwich with my sweet little hands!"


Brian

"And your hands are sweet, just like the beautiful person you are that came into my life..."


Paula

"Stop that shit, your making me tear up!


Brian gives her a hug and a kiss to her cheek 


Brian

"Good night special..."


Paula

"Good night my special man..."


(Scene Switch)

(1 Hour Later)


Coming into his apartment, Sydney asleep on couch, TV blaring, Sydney shut off set and starts to go to his room


Sydney suddenly wakes up with TV off

"How was it...did you do her?"


Brian smiling as he goes upstairs

"We did each other, how about that...good night Syd!'


(Scene Close)

Brain Harvest (14) Religious Savior

Kirk Carter@ Chew Bear Productions@ Copyright 2014

BRAIN HARVEST (14)

Religious Savior

 Int: New Orleans Police-Central Command-8 a.m.

Bringing Tyrone in to the conference room from his over night lock-up, Agent Davis is going to try a little interrogation, and see if he can break him down a bit.

Agent Davis to guard

"Did everything run good last night with this Tyrone guy?"

(Looking at him thorough the glass)

Guard

"Didn't say much, made his phone call, and crashed out...that's all I know sir..."

Agent Davis

"Okay, could you get him on the recorder...I'm going to take a shot at him while I've got some time?"

Guard

"No problem sir!"


(10 Minutes Later)


Tyrone being given some coffee and told to relax.
Agent Davis and psychoanalyst Doctor Hyatt enter room.


Agent Davis

"Good morning Mister Malory, and how are we doing?"


Tyrone

"About as well could be expected, shit?"


Davis

"Well, this is Doctor Hyatt, she will be assisting me with your evaluation...is that okay?"


Tyrone

"I don't need any evaluating, there ain't nothing wrong with me...I ain't done nothing..."


Davis

"Mister Malory please try to cooperate here...


Tyrone

"Call me Tyrone...it's T, Y, R, O, N, E...I ain't gotta talk to you...you can talk to my lawyer...he be here in just a few...I ain't got nothing to say, to you or the psycho woman either!"


Doctor Hyatt

"Well Tyrone, we just wanted to see if we could help...there are things missing in your life that don't quite add up, your income, your activities, what you do, perhaps..."


Tyrone

"Perhaps you need to shut the hell up Miss...sitting here in your pretty little dress, your stethoscope, and your ain't I cutesy little pussy-assed smirk, while Doctor Killdeer over here is looking for motive and reasoning...look, let me all save you some time...you got nothing, and I will be leaving soon, save your breath on digging anything out of me!"


Agent Davis

"Well, unfortunately your being charged with possession of a controlled substance...perhaps distribution...but we have reason to believe that something else has been taking place between your walls...anything come to mind?" 


(Scene Switch)


Tyrone's attorney the honorable Billie-Jean Wallace has just walked up to the Front Desk.


Billie-Jean

"Hello sir, how nice to make your acquaintance."


Desk Captain

"How can I help you Mam?" 


Billie-Jean

"I'm here representing Tyrone Malory, I presume he's available for my precious time, isn't he?"


Desk Captain

"Well, he's still in custody, and I believe that he's being questioned right now, but no bail hearing has been set...he's still in preliminaries...so you may have to wait Miss Wallace."


Billie-Jean

Billie-Jean Wallace don't wait for no one...you God forsaken sinner's interrupting a man's religious corridor, absolved of year's of suppression on the commonality of the Indian Negro, I demand satisfaction for the the reparations you be thou on the brother..."


Desk Captain

"Very good Mam, would you prefer to consult with the District Attorney for details on this case...perhaps you can make instruction to any civil rights violation which may have occurred?"


Billie-Jean

"That sounds like a proper channel to direct my complacent complaints toward and get some mandated results from this orchestrated misguided misunderstanding of the legal system, ah...thank you!"


(Scene Switch)


Back in the interrogation room Agent Davis and Doctor Hyatt are getting no where in to the particulars of Tyrone's storyline.


Doctor Hyatt

"So, when you were twelve...you said you use'd to steal candy cigarettes from the A and P food store...anything else?


Tyrone

"And little mirrors, like make-up mirrors, and I'd take 'em to my room and line them up on my dresser and pretend like I was Sam Cook (singing "Bring It On Home To Me"), until some fucker had to shoot his ass in sixty-four...for the Love of God, why?"


Doctor Hyatt

"Sir, your getting off subject here...was there anything else going on?"


Tyrone

"Lot's going on...just nothing you need to know about, Tyrone be all good, that all you need to know!"


(Knock on door)


Assistant District Attorney-Nancy

"Ah, Agent Davis, have a second...out here...in the hall?"


Agent Davis

"What's up Nancy?"


Nancy

"Well, I just got out of a rather disorderly conference with Mister Mallory's attorney...ah Billie Jean Wallace, and it appears she's about ready to file civil rights charges against the prosecution regarding the use of Peyote and Magic Mushrooms as a religious sacrament...you believe this believe this nonsense?"


Agent Davis

"With this clown anything's possible...he's a real piece of work...what can we do?"


Nancy

"You could hold him for observation, but this whack attorney is contesting a filing today, and I really don't need the media bullshit right now...they'll be rioting by midnight if this get's out!"


Agent Davis

"Is he really an Indian, or blood?"


Nancy

"How do I know, maybe you should ask him...but Sister Billie want's to be in on this, so let her talk."


Agent Davis

"Okay, bring her in..."


(Scene Switch)


Back at Tyrone's Apartment Brian and Sydney, and the two Bowling Bimbos who remain strapped to the cots, still producing Serotonin wafers from the machine.
Brian desperately trying to find escape exit, as hidden wall door is locked from the outside.


Brian

"Keep looking man, there's got to be a crack or something around here!"


Sydney

"The only thing I could think of was that back windows, but there's about a hundred nails on a one inch piece of plywood, and it probably has a painting of a bedroom from the other side...Tyrone really got this place figured out..."


Brian

"Wait, there are stairs going up onto the porch thing, the little entrance floor...these old houses all had breezeways going under the house...little places for..."


Sydney

"Cool air to blow, so that helped to keep the house cool..."


Brian

"But, it was also the place where they installed floor heaters...look around and see if you can find any heating grates...look under the carpets over there!"


Sydney

"Yea, with any luck, there might be a crawl way out of here if we can kick the duct work down!"


Brian

"Brilliant, but I imagine it's top loaded with a pretty good lip on it, huh?"


Sydney

"Look who's getting pessimistic now...who be the wienie?"


Brian

"Yea, take the cheap shot, but we don't have any food, I don't know how to disconnect the girls, and if they come out of their comatose, I can only guess what to give them?"


Sydney

"Never thought of it like that...now I'm becoming the wienie!"


(Scene Switch)


Back at the interrogation room, Tyrone's attorney Billie-Jean Wallace, Agent Davis, Doctor Hyatt, and Assistant Attorney Nancy French are all squabbling about the mistreatment of the supposedly part Indian Tyrone.


Billie-Jean Wallace

"Now, look he'ar...I'm moving to say that your defensive action in Orleans Parish is unconstitutional to the bureaucratic mandates of the regulations concerning possession of certain supplements for his blood worship...it's time for the black Indians to stand up and be counted...am I making myself clear?"


Nancy

"Mam, I believe you must inform and have on file, which means you must file first..."


Agent Davis

"That's true...all that must be registered with our divisions of permits before you are allowed to legally hold possession of a schedule A narcotic of any type, religious, medical, or special event...it doesn't matter!"


Billie-Jean Wallace

"And that be the problem right there...your constrictions and afflictions are harboring the spirit of the black Indian brotherhood...it's no wonder they continue to be oppressed, unable to pull themselves without the guidance of their spiritual boot straps, which you selfishly deny of his goodness...a man without sight do not survive the night, without a fight...without the might...


Nancy whispering to Davis

"I'm going to lock this bitch down if she doesn't stop this save the Coon shit..."


Agent Davis to Nancy

"Can I stun her first...make it look like an accident?"


Nancy

"With our luck, she's short the thing out and draw from it's energy!"


Billie-Jean Wallace

"So, instead of wasting everyone's time, as we have places to go, things to do, and people to meet, I am requesting to council-honey Nancy that you cut the man loose, and lick your wounds from the scorn you were warned about...wisely averted as I was ready to take you down like Hog Jowls, with biscuits and gravy..."


Nancy

"Just one question Mister Malory...uh, Tyrone, what part Indian are you?"


Tyrone scratching his head

"Well, I was, I mean am Tchoupotoulis...a Wild Tchoupotoulis...ah one-sixths...yea that's it!"


Agent Davis

"Sir, that's the name of a street running along side the river front, are you sure?"


Billie-Jean Wallace

"Can't you see the boy be all fumbling his words, his brain ain't right cause the white man with the badge come and dern took it away...you messed the child up...he be Ouchita or Hithachy...up around Shreveport, Monroe...them brothers move around a lot, trying to avoid the scourge of the white man and them wild pigs that be running around trying to gore 'em with them nasty-assed tusks...plum amazing that anybody made it out alive...the odds were not with them...it was like I've always said...it was God's will to let Tyrone survive...


Nancy

"Okay guys, look, I'd really Love to stand here and talk about the civil rights movement of the last hundred years of the old south, but I'm going to move to release custody of Tyrone here to the loving hand and guidance of Miss Wallace...all say here yey"


Everyone in room including Tyrone


"Here Yey!"


(Scene Switch)

(Two Hours Later)


Brian and Sydney located old floor mounted heating vent. Taking turns banging and stomping on duct work, when suddenly the side door opens from hidden door bookcase.
Tyrone appears back from his incarceration.


Tyrone

"What the hell you doing to my floor man...shit, you kicked in my heater core?"


Brian

"Trying to find our way out of here..."


Sydney

"Trying to find freedom...we didn't know when you'd be back...great to see you...really!"


Tyrone looking at wafer machine overflowing from the girl's processed brain juices.

"Shit man, you left this thing on all night, gees...you probably drained them for a month."


Brian

"Guess we're not ready to go this alone, huh?" 


Tyrone

"Hell no, you guys would be just selling body parts cause there would be nobody to bring back!"


Brian

"So, they let you out...are you on bail or something?"


Tyrone

"No, it was weird cause this crazy-assed attorney, who I've never seen before...got me off on some being part Indian mumbo-jumbo...weird chick...anyway it worked!"


Sydney

"So, what now...can we just leave...how are we gonna get the girls out?"


Tyrone

"I thought about that, and since you already put a hole in my floor, this might be the answer...I could drug up some more and we could drag them under the house, out on a bedspread, one at a time into the back yard, then bring 'em around on the other side and into the van."


Sydney

"No one will see shit...that's perfect!"


Brian

"But, what about future operations...we can't do anything here?"


Tyrone

"Why don't you take a few days off, I'll talk to my finance manger and we'll figure something out, let everything simmer down a bit...you'all got some money coming, too!"


Brian

"Sounds good, when are we taking the bowling bimbos home?


Tyrone

"They pretty much out of it...better do it tonight...you two hang out here, it's not cool leaving through the front anyway...we'll all leave together, we drop the girls off, I'll drop you two off, and get myself back here...by the way, when you gonna buy another truck or something?"


Brian

"Now that all this happened...man, I guess I better get it done!"


Tyrone

"In the mean time...all is quiet on the front..."


All of a sudden one of the girls, wakes up and turns her head at them

"Are all you guys "still" in my dream...get out of here, go...I'm done with you!"


Tyrone

"Guess I spoke to soon..."


Everybody Laughing



(Scene Close)

Brain Harvest (13) If Walls Could Talk

Kirk Carter@ Chew Bear Productions@ Copyright 2014

BRAIN HARVEST (13)

If Walls Could Talk

Ext: Brian, Sydney, and the two Bowling Bimbos enter Tyrone's parking lot-10:45 p.m.

(Scene Switch)

Int: Police surveillance van parked right across street from Tyrone's, recording video of movement. 

Klein

"Hey Harris, wake the fuck up, we got activity!"

Both looking at at monitor through telephoto lens, seeing Brian and Sydney taking passed out girls and throwing one a piece over their shoulders and walking them into Tyrone's apartment

Klein

"This might be what Davis has been waiting on...better call this in (getting on radio), 

Jericho One to Klondike, you got your ears on 10-4?"

Agent Davis

"Yea?"

Klein

"Sir, I have two guys carrying in two females one over each shoulder into suspect's apartment, any response, 10-4?"

Davis

"What were they coming out of, 10-4"

Klein

"Looks to be a gray Toyota passenger van, 10-4?"

Davis

"Okay, let's move...at least we can find out what's going on...just maintain surveillance and wait for me to show up, 10-4?"


Klein

"Affirmative, Jericho One 10-6!"


(Scene Switch)


Tyrone, Brian, and Sydney trying to get semi-conscious girls on to cots and strapped down.


Tyrone

"Hey, what's with these bitches anyway...why they squirming like that...they need to be chatty and chillin, dude, how much did you give them?"


Brian

"None..."


Tyrone

"None?"


Sydney

"None, they're completely under the influence of Bud Light compliments of your local bowling alley."


Brian

"And, lot's of it...I say 10 beers a piece easy..."


Sydney

"I'd say 12 at about 4 percent...and knowing that girls assimilate..."


Tyrone

"I know, I know man...differently...but there's a reason for them to be trippin man, that penal nerve needs to be stimulated...without that, they won't be able to be given up anything...I can't keep their brains active without it!"


Brian

"What can you do?"


Tyrone

"Induce a drip, but they're not going to like the little prick they'll feel when I put the needle in..."


Sydney

"What about a shot of Red Label...that will get them sloshed...and quick, too?" 


Tyrone

"Yea, that's not a bad idea...it might work, too...but they're still going to want to no know why I putting a needle in their arm...yea, make 'em a drink...hey girls?"


Sydney mixing a little Hawaiian Punch, some shroom juice, and a some Taaka Red Label 100 proof, trying to give it to Brenda-Girl #2


Brenda

"What the fuck is this...yuk?"


Sydney

"It will make you feel better, you had an accident...but everyone is okay!"


Brenda

"What about Debbie...is she still bowling?"


Sydney

"Yea, that's what happened...you both got hit in the head with a bowling ball...here, drink a little more, it's good for you!


(20 Minutes Later)


Girl #1

"And we're off to the races...racing Butterflies!"


Girl #2

"I Love you Brenda, did I tell you that...my favorite color is rainbow..."


Girl #1

"My favorite color is bright...and happy...like a smooth'y!"


Tyrone

"That's more like it, just put a little procaine on the arm, stick them I.V.'s in like nobodies business, life is good!"


Brian

"So, what are you shooting for with the Bowling Bambettes?"


Tyrone

"Thought we'd do some epinephrine, maybe some dopemen, with any luck we should be seeing a little wafer coming out of the centrifuge, after it gels through the pressure modulator with the corn starch and the citric acid...kind of solidifies and seals the proteins...get this shit...one wafer splits into 32 tabs, each with enough sedative to numb your ass for about 6 hours!"


Sydney

"So, what kind of market does this draw?"


Tyrone

"Those that like to feel nothing, skies the limit!" 


(Scene Switch)


Across the street from Tyrone's apartment, vice squad officers start assembling.
Agent Davis leading the command gives last moment briefing.

"Okay men, we're not completely sure what we're dealing with here...but be alert to anything that might look at of place...go through as much property as you can, a fine tooth comb, keep your eyes on the floor...might be a booby trap, and please make a verbal command if anything looks suspicious!"


Officer Klein

"From what we witnessed earlier...we have three males and two females in the apartment, there's a rear window, so one of you cover that...otherwise good luck! 


All the officers make there way across the street, some coming up the back alley.
All wearing dark outfits, with the word  "Vice" and badges along with M-16's and 9 millimeter pistols, one officer with a battling ram, as they approach Tyrone's front door.


Agent Davis ringing buzzer, banging on door.

"Open up, New Orleans Police, vice squad, open up!"


(Scene Switch)

Tyrone just know trying to extract wafer off of machine with forceps onto a piece of dry ice looks up.

"What the fuck?"


Brian

"It's the them...what now?"


Tyrone

"Okay, be cool...here take the rest of this wafer out and set it on the ice...I'll go into the apartment and shut the door, keep everybody quiet...do what you can!"


(Scene Switch)

Officer Davis bangs again

"This is the New Orleans Police, open up or we will break the door down.


(Scene Switch)


Tyrone coming through hallway into his apartment, sliding hidden door taunt, which surfaces like just a series of bookshelves and floor planter holding a plastic palm tree, checking for transparency, Tyrone runs to door and opens it.

"Hello sir, may I help you?"


Agent Davis

"Yes, are you Tyrone Malory?"


Tyrone

"Last time I checked...that would be me...what's the visit for sir?"


Agent Davis

"We are serving a search warrant for your address concerning a smuggling and doping operation...undetermined..."  


Tyrone

"Are you sure you have the right address?"


Agent Davis

"Yes, we've been staking you out for a while now...we know what we're doing..."


Tyrone

"Well, that's good to know...cause I would hate it if you were just out bored to death and decided to start wasting the taxpayers money!"


Officer's busily going through all of Tyrone's stuff, turning over baskets, drawers, looking behind paintings, pulling up fake palm tree.


Agent Davis

"Hey Klein...why don't you make Mister Malory here a little more comfortable and cuff him up...just so he doesn't get in the way...want you?"


Officer Klein

"Of course sir, no problem..."


Tyrone

"You know, I'm really not sure what this is all about...there must be some kind of miscommunication going on here...cause I think you'all just wasin your time!"


Agent Davis

"Let us be the judge of that...by the way, didn't you have company over here tonight?"


Tyrone

"Company...what company?"


Agent Davis

"We have video of two men and two women entering your premises?"


Tyrone

"Look, I don't know what you'all been smokin, but I just went to the store...check it out, van still warm...that be it!"


Officer walking up

"Agent Davis sir, we haven't located any other individuals in the bedrooms or bath, windows locked from the inside, what next?"


Agent Davis

"Check next door, maybe we got the wrong door or something?"


Officer

"Yes Sir!"


Going outside, the officer quickly see's that the door has been nailed shut, trying to look through window, all he see's is painting of bare room pressed up against the window, comes back to Tyrone's apartment.

Agent Davis

"Find anything?"


Officer

"No sir, room empty, door nailed shut...are you sure we have the right building?"


Agent Davis

"If I wanted your opinion...I would have...never mind!"


Officer

"Yes sir...I know, frustration...this has to be a let down, no body's shoulder to cry on...the whole weight of the world falling down on your shoulders, hopelessness, suicidal thoughts...


Agent Davis

"What's your name officer?"


Officer

"Getty sir!"


Agent Davis

"Getty...shut the fuck up...go sit in the car and play with yourself, your starting to annoy me!


Officer

"Yes sir, very good sir..."


Suddenly another officer going through refrigerator finds Thermos of partially drank shroom juice which Sydney accidentally put in there when they came in.

"Sir, this looks narcotic sir, smells odd?"


Agent Davis

"Bring it over here, we can pop a sample, check for opiate activity.


Pouring a little into sample cup, Davis sniffs it...

"Hmm, that smells like..."


Officer

"It's a murky red, looks like..."


Agent Davis

"Strawberry Kool-Aid...maybe Cherry?"


Tyrone

"You all got nothing man, that just my sport drink when I go jogging man...that my health juice!"


Agent Davis laughing

"Last time you probably been jogging is when you were chasing after coins falling out of peoples pockets..."


Tyrone

"What's that suppose to mean?"


Agent Davis

"It means that we couldn't substantiate your form of employment...how do you pay for this place, your not getting assistance, what's the deal?"


Tyrone

"My cousin Desi and Blade kick in while I pursue my studies!"


Agent Davis

"Desi and Blade...that's good, what are you studying...going for that Bachelor in Panhandling?"


All officers laughing.
Suddenly, little test bag starts turning blue.


Agent Davis

"Well, looky there, looks like you got something positive in the bottle?"


Tyrone

"That just the exotic proteins, they do that, like sesame seeds on buns...always show up positive...it ain't be real!"


Agent Davis

"Well, I don't know what to think...Klein...take him downtown for processing, and send the rest of this...whatever it is to the lab for further analysis, seal this place up, let's get out of here, it's getting late.


Tyrone

"You charging me with what...I ain't done nothing?"


Agent Davis

"At this point I have reason to believe this is a controlled or restricted substance, I can hold you for 72 hours if I want...if it turns out to be sesame seeds, some spaced out ooze from the moon, then you will be on your way with my apologies, otherwise, you can talk to the judge...understand?"


Tyrone handcuffed, briefly looking at sealed wall concedes

"Yes Sir..."


(30 minutes Later)


Final officer closing and locking door, taking yellow Police tape and sealing door.


(Scene Switch)


Brian and Sydney listening, ears against wall.
Both pulling away, looking at each other.


Sydney

"What do you think, are we trapped back here?"


Brian

"That's what it looks like...I mean there could be a trap door or something?"


Sydney

"I need to get a buzz or something going, this shit is gonna drive me crazy..."


Brian

"I think I'm gonna need a piece of one of them wafer's...this could be a long night..."


Sydney

"Save me a piece..."




(Scene Ends)

Brain Harvest (12) Bowling For Bimbos

Kirk Carter@ Chew Bear Productions@ Copyright 2014

BRAIN HARVEST (12)

Bowling For Bimbos

Ext: Time Saver Mini-Mart-Carrrollton Avenue-6 p.m.

Brian and Sydney get off street car and walk down to the Time Saver across the street from Tyrone, calling Tyrone on pay phone.

Brian

"What's up, we're right across the street?"

Tyrone

"Man, you see what happened on I-10, stuff all messed up?"

Brian

"Yea, between the snoopers from last night...this shit's been busier than a kicked over ant hill, jeep got stolen, they wrecked it, got ejected and met Jesus...cops just interviewed me in front of the apartment, asking all kinds of questions..."

Tyrone

"When they come?"

Brian

"About 3 or so, but I just said I didn't have a clue as to what they were talking about, they got nothing solid to work with, and finally they just split!"

Tyrone

"I told you there was nothing to hook this on, they ain't got nothing Bro...and if they don't get anything soon, the chief honchos just gonna make them drop the case...they got other shit to do!"

Brian

"So, just like that...they just vanish?"

Tyrone

"Not completly, but this is a new game to them...at least here, they don't even understand what we are doing yet...and even if they did, it would be hard to file anything on anyone and make it stick!"

Brian

"They understand abduction, kidnapping, taking someone's life away...that part is serious man..."

Tyrone

"And temporary, we're not making hostages out of them or holding them for ransom...we're just borrowing a couple of days and draining them of any happy juice...they'll make more!"

Brian

"So, what's the deal with the flying Caruso's, are they ready to get back to the hanger?"

Tyrone

"Yea, got good extraction from both of them, but it's time we returned them back...you got them from the airport...which one?"

Brian

"Lakefront...thought I might just drop 'em off there...whatta you think?"

Tyrone

"Drop 'em off in what...your Jeep be scrap metal?"

Brian

"Well, until I can get another car...I guess we'll have to use your mini van...would that be okay?"

Tyrone

"Man fuck, I wish you would think this out before...just for tonight, but I have to have you back by 10:30 you here me?"

Brian

"Yes father...old wise one, man of perpetual wrongful ploy and confusion...I will bring thy vessel at the time spoken of thee!"

Tyrone

"What the fuck you been smokin, sound like that guy that make them fishing poles?"

Brian

"Look, we're across the street, wanna do it now?"

Tyrone

"Go get a coffee, give me about 30 minutes...go around the block and come up on the back alley, gotta prep the prop jockeys and get them ready for their buzz ride, later!

As Brian hangs up the phone, he see's that Sydney has already gotten a coffee from the Time Saver and is standing on the corner of the wall, staring over into a row of tall bushes.

Brian walks over

"What you peeping at?"

Sydney

"There is a van back there...I just saw two men get out of a car, it dropped them off, and they climbed into that van...kinda like those guys we saw the other night...all black casual shit!"

Brian

"Well, that's them then...it wasn't a mirage after all...but how in the hell did they know?"

Sydney

"Someone squealed, and considering the connection between the Jeep and location, I guess they put two and two together and got lucky with an interview with someone."

Brian

"Well, other than the tags, I hope they're not looking for us...I mean apparently not cause they..."

Sydney

"Picked you up a few hours ago?"

Brian

"Exactly...come on let's get around the block and come up the back way...we'll be out of sight, out of mind...at least for tonight!"

Sydney

"We've got to plan a new location, this is getting little bit too uncomfortable for me!"

Brian

"It already's uncomfortable...what are you talking about?"


(Scene Switch)


Officer Klein in surveillance van across the street from Tyrone's apartment looking through binoculars

"There is movement, but I can't make out what?"


Officer Harris

"Seems to me, they're going about just being neighbors, part of the neighborhood...f there is something going on...they're doing it well...wish I had neighbors like that!"


Officer Klein

"Where do you live at?"


Officer Harris

"Next to a liquor store where they sell lottery tickets...brings in the crap, worst of the worst!"


Officer Klein

"I would agree, nothing worse than drunk street gamblers...but I bet the rent is cheap?"


Officer Harris

"They practically begged me to stay there...having a cop in complex helps them sleep better!"


Officer Klein

"We tend to have that effect...wanna see my big gun bitch...tell me...how many bullets you see in there, go on, tell me...take a big wild guess...wanna hold my slug?"


Officer Harris

"Ha-ppi...ness is a..."


Officer Klein

"...a warm gun-un..ow ah oww!"


(Both laughing)


(Scene Switch)


Brian and Sydney coming up back alley to Tyrone's door, pressing buzzer


Tyrone

"Who's there?"


Brian

"Who do you think, I just talked to you on the phone...it's Brian!"


Tyrone

"Anybody tailing you, anybody got a gun to your back?"


Brian

"If they were, would it be a good idea to say anything?"


Tyrone opening door

"Is that a trick question?"


Brian

"It's just that you can never be too sure...we're running late, where's our fly jockey's?"


Tyrone

"Sitting on the couch...watching the pretty colors on the screen...gave them some Aderal and some morphine...pretty much anything will entertain them at this point...you guys figure out where your going to take them?"


Brian

"Thought just back to the airport, will look like they've been wandering around the Lake or something!"


Tyrone

"Just as well, but try to be cool with things...cause people be seeing you take these zombies out, they'll know somethings up!"


Brian

"I just don't feel like fucking with the restaurant stuff tonight..."


Tyrone

"Okay, here's your check, my keys to my Buddy...try to be safe, and I'm assuming your bringing someone back tonight?"


Brian

"Yea, thought we might come up Gentilly, maybe hit the bowling alley or something..."


Tyrone

"There ya go, no telling what delectable's you'll find in there, good luck!"


Brian and Sydney guide the inebriated pilots over to the van


Brian

"There we go sir, everything is going to be fine..."


Aviator #1

"Where have we been, are we being mistreated?"


Sydney

"No, you have just been given an award for flights of valor..."


Aviator #2

"They don't give those away anymore...not since World War Two!


Brian

"Well, this is one (glancing at Sydney), they were meaning to give you guys when you were downing those Nips...congratulations...now let's get you back to the airport!"

(Scene Switch)


In surveillance van Officer Klein notices activity across the street at Tyrone's apartment, since his pardoner was fast asleep, he decides to radio it in.

Jericho One to Klondike are you there 10-4?"

(Slight Pause)

Jericho to Klondike wake up...10-4?"


Agent Davis

"Sorry Klein...I mean Klondike, I mean Jericho One...gee, I guess everybody knows everybody now, kinda drifted off there...what's up...ah 10-4?"


Officer Klein

"Looks like two individuals are helping two individuals into a gray Toyota, the one owned by apartment occupant...any response...ah wait, it looks like the two are wearing uniforms...look like pilot uniforms...anything 10-4?"


Agent Davis

"That does seem odd, but keep the video running and just maintain surveillance, 10-4?"


Officer Klein

"Okay sir, you can go back to bed now, Jericho One 10-6!"


Agent Davis


"Thank you...would you like to tuck me in with bed time story...don't forget I've been pulling a double shift with this crap...I'm zoned sir!"


Officer Klein

"Sorry sir, just making a funny, Jericho One 10-6..."


(Scene Switch)


(45 Minutes Later)


Brian driving into Lakefront Airport, pulling up to maintenance area next to where the large classic planes are parked.


Brian

"Here guys, the general's going to meet you here in a minute...we have orders to drop you off here."


Aviator #1

"The general...heavens man, I ain't even in uniform...well I am, but this ain't pressed, I smell like whisky and rubbing alcohol, what in the hell have we been doing...he's gonna write me up looking like this!"


Brian pulling them out of the van

"Oh, I'm sure he'll understand...you smell like you've just taken a bath at a French whore house, I'm sure the General's been there before...so you guys take care...oh, and congratulations on your awards, we're so proud of you guys...it was fun...we must do this again...take care...bye!"


Sydney to Brian

"Damn, you hurried through that one...pretty impressive...kind of got off that guilt trip, huh?"


Brian

"Well, I saved on the dinner bullshit, and this just seemed like a situation for a change up!"


Sydney

"So, what now..."


Brian

"Bowling my man, pick up a spare maybe?"


Sydney

"My handicap sucks...but I get a good run once in while..."


Brian

"Practice my son, practice!"


(15 Minutes Later)


Brian and Sydney pulling into Orbit Lanes parking lot.
Walking up carrying bottle of shroom elixir in Thermos, they enter the front of the facility.

Looking around at lines, some people getting shoes, getting food at vendors, some playing pinball machines, people ordering beer every lane packed with groups of bowlers.


Brian

"Looks like we hit the jack pot...the place for new faces..."


Sydney

"Who would have ever thought a bowling alley...I must admit, quite a selection...anyone sticking out for you?"


Brian spotting two girls fighting over a beer, barefoot, trying to put socks on

"My wienie beacon just went off!"


Sydney

"Your wienie what?"


Brian

Beacon...didn't know I had one huh?"


Sydney

"Is that like a GPS?"


Brian

"Uh-huh, when the wang twang, the fat lady sang, oh dang...I found a woman...once again!"


Sydney

"Okay...Mister Wienie Beacon, please...by all means, don't let me interfere with your insanity...that divining rod penis thing you got going there...I think someone needs a beer!"


Brian

"I don't need a beer..."


Sydney

"No, I was talking about me...your warped logic is calling for a bender...I need to find your cloud and get on board...one second...I'll be back!"


Brian

"Well, go get your suds, I'm going to see how the ladies are doing..."


Brian walking over, beginning to catch the girl's conversation


Girl #1

"Marge, that's not a good fit for you, you got the left on the right, and the other way around, and that color match looks like shit...damn train wreck, are you a real girl cause you suck at it?"


Girl #2

"Wish I could just go barefoot, maybe just bowl in my socks...I don't care, they fit...it was the only pair of 7's they had...there's a time for fashion, there's a time to fall on your head and break your neck, and there..."


Girl #1

"Time to go get some more beer...which is...well look at the time...happens to be now, and it's your turn to buy (sticking tongue out)!"


Brian walking up

"Hello girls, can you help me...I'n having a dilemma...who is prettier...you or her?"


Girl #2

"Is this a trick question?"


Brian

"Heaven's no, I was just going to say that you have both been blessed, I'd even say it was a tie!"


Girl #2

"I'd say it was Brenda, Brenda'a prettier than me...but then again, she's a lush, a female Dean Martin, nobody Loves somebody like she Loves herself, and on top of that she drinks like a fish...I swear, if I don't watch her she drinks all our bowling money away..."


Brian

"Does it improve the game, or does it matter?"


Girl #1

"Less games, better quality...shit faced works for me..."


Girl #2

"Your right, I don't know about sharper, but at that point I don't care about anything...and get the fuck out of my way!"


Girl #2

"She doesn't waste time looking in the mirror, playing with her hair, looking around to see who's looking at her...she's like this, one bare foot, one dirty sock, back woods hick!"


Girl #1

"I ain't no hick Miss Penis in her purse...oh sorry, that one just sort of came out...I said I'd never mention her mechanical buddy cock, but I'm fucked up and too embarrassed to care!"


Girl #2

"It's a good thing I'm too drunk to stand up and bust her teeth out, but I'm going to take this little pencil and write it on mu hand...bust my best bitches teeth out in the morning...there!"


Girl #1

"Why do they have these little short pencils anyway, fuck you can't even write the scores down?"


Girl #2

"To keep people like me from ramming them through your head, can't get a grip...nobody dies!"


Girl #1

"See how she gets...she gets drunk, flashes her tits, then when your not looking she bowls in your lane...stupid bitch..."


Girl #2

"That's a practice shot you moron, doesn't effect my game at all..."


Girl #1

"But the practice lane belongs to somebody else...you ruined their game!"


Girl #2

"So...tough toenails...ain't my fault they left the lane open...they learn, they learn from the...the experience!"


Girl #1

"Oh, and if you leave a beer sitting, forget to finish all of it...she comes along like a silly sucker and absorbs it for you...like a sponge with tits I tell you!"


Brian

"Like an opportunist there...personally I like to see a little aggressiveness in a woman..."


Girl #1

"Well, have at her, I'm officially donating her to your blue balls club, cause you got to be damn horny to want her panties down..."


Girl #2

"That's enough you Cinderella loving pussy monster, come here!"


Both girls drop their beers and start wrestling on the floor, shirts are partially torn off, exposing breast, they roll around before Brian grabs one and a security guard grabs the other, Sydney walks up from the beer bar.

"Gee, did I miss something?"


Guard

"Do you know these two, cause if not I'm taking them in for fighting?"


Brian

"Of course sir, I'm sorry...those are my friends and I think these young ladies have had a little too much tonight, we need to get them home and tuck them in, thank you officer.


Guard

"Are you sure you don't need a hand here?"


Brian

"Well...actually, that would be nice if you could escort us through the crowds, I'm parked right in front...thank you very much!"


Guard

"No problem man..."


Brain and the guard "carry walk" a girl each out to the parking lot, where Sydney already has the sliding back door to the Toyota window van already open. They strap the girls in the rear seats, adjusting their torn tops and opening their dilated eyes.


Sydney

"How were you able to get them to drink the swill?'


Brian laughing

"I didn't, they just came that way...fucked up!


Sydney

"Well, I'll hand it too you for creative cost cutting, first you skimped on dinner for the pilots and now no pre-shrooming toddies for the Bimbos...your a CPA's dream come true!"


Brian

"And the beauty of it all, is that it's all a write off at the end of the year!"


Sydney

"What box is that under?"


Brian

"Cost Overruns!"


Sydney

"Shall we head back to the Ponderosa?"


Brian

"Yep, the horses need watering...Getty up let's go!

(Scene Close)