Kirk Carter@ Chew Bear Productions@ Copyright 2014
BRAIN HARVEST (15)
Paula's Persuasion
Int: Brian and Sydney riding on city bus, suddenly Brian sees a blue Honda Odyssey at Dealer Joe's car lot.
Brian
"We're getting off here, I found my Rose..."
Sydney
"Bout time you pulled out of your coma...you know...still kinda a weird riding on the bus...the bus thing got me all messed up!"
Brian
"Think of it this way, it gives you a different perspective...you have time to stop and smell the roses!
Sydney
"I was thinking, stop and smell the urine, the unwashed butt cracks, the unattended feet!"
Brian
"Your so tunnel visioned, narrow-minded my medical psycho, you don't realize something very important...you never smell your own ass when your driving alone...do you?"
Sydney
"I would if I ever drove alone, shit...I don't even have a car and I'm always driving with you!"
Brian
"Don't be hard on yourself because your not a leader, just practice...play with yourself more often!"
Sydney
"With what?"
Brian
"Small Gopher's, rabid squirrels, road kill...develop those skills that will follow you!"
Sydney
"To what...?
Brian
"A career in business management, an approved SSI, or if all else fails perhaps a tenured position with the university...but, you really don't want that...the hours are horrific...you have to shower like...every morning...constantly yelling at students that don't want to listen...just not you at all!"
Salesman finally walking up
"Tony Kirby, welcome to the fantastic world of Dealer Joe's, see anything you like?"
Brian hesitantly
"Hey Tony, Brian...lookin at this Blue Odyssey, what you get me on this?"
Tony
"Owww, this baby be sweet, this be special, you got good taste my man, perhaps I can let her slide with a thousand down, 64 months at 32%...let's say $8900 cash, what you sweet on, looka...got all the bells and whistles, fully loaded, and get this...only 89 thousand miles on her...hardly driven...got two sliding side doors, great family car, this baby's in excellent condition?"
Brian
"Yea, I like the sliding doors on each side, perfect for bring friends in and out."
Tony
Like I said, great family car...Brian, you got family?"
Brian
"Well, off and on, I do a lot of Sabbaticals and prayer meetings..."
Sydney looking in back
"Wow Brian, lots of seat belts, lighters on each door."
Brian
"Can't have enough seat belts and lighters."
Tony
"Like I always say "Safety First"..."
(10 Minutes Later)
After coming back from test drive
Brian
"Okay, let's talk...can we get this thing off the lot for ten thousand?"
Tony
Let's see what we can work out here...did I mention that we have some nifty financing here at the low cost leader...Dealer Joe's!"
Brian
"Yea, sounds really nifty...look, just reduce the price so the title and tax comes to ten thousand...you do know how to do the numbers for that, right?"
Tony
"Well, yes I can price down a bit...come with me."
Sydney
"Isn't it true Tony, you make most of your money off of financing?"
Brian
Syd...stay out of this, we don't even know if he knows how to subtract yet...don't confuse the dude!"
(1 Hour Later)
In office Brian finally ends up not only originating the deal, but also signing it
Brian
"So, see...$8452, plus the licence and tax comes exactly to $10 thousand dollars...see how easy that was?"
Tony
"Ah...sure, are you sure you don't want to just finance this?"
Brian laughing
"No...thanks for asking, now here is a check already made out to cash for $10 thousand dollars, I'm just going to sign it to Dealer Joe's, and everybody is happy...you happy Tony?"
Tony
"I would have been a lot happier if you would have just financed it!"
Brian
"I'm sure you would...take care..."
Sydney to Brian
"I told you...they live for that financing...they get really annoyed when you pay cash!"
Brian
"I know, I know..."
(Scene Switch)
(2 Hours Later)
Back at Brian and Sydney's apartment
Brian coming out of bathroom, slightly dressed up
Sydney
"What's the occasion?"
Brian
"Taking the Rose out for her inaugural date night journey...for a previously scheduled date with that Paula girl I met the other night at Luigi's."
Sydney
"What am I suppose to do, sit here and twiddle my thumbs?"
Brian
"No hide under the passenger seat and listen to all our heavy breathing...or, you can cuddle up to a good book, like War and Peace, a handful of sobbing tissues, as you work your way through all the great battles...sniffling, crying, feeling sorry for yourself for not setting up a little activity...there are a lot of good catches around this campus...shit man, it's walking distance to a lonely girl who probably also has a fistful of tissues...you can sob-share with each other, bang like rabbits, and even have an after bang pity-party...it's all in the cards man, you can do this!"
Sydney
"You think you've got me all figured out, huh...so, do I get suicidal next...do myself in?"
Brian
"No, just reflect on that last girl you let get away...you know, masturbate a lot and get over it!"
Sydney
"Yea, that's a comforting thought...gonna really look forward to that..."
Brian
"How do I look?"
Sydney
"I'd do you, but you know, with our religious differences, you probably wouldn't put out on the first date?"
Brian
"Your probably right...I'd wanna get to know you first...then share promise rings, charm bracelets, I'm big on tradition...hey have a good one...don't wait up!"
(Scene Switch)
Brian pulling up to Paula's apartment, knocking on door, she answers
"Hello first time fellow!"
Brian
"Hello First time girl..."
Paula
"Can we make that the last time we ever use that phrase?"
Brian
"Of course, you nervous?"
Paula
"Terribly!"
Brian
"Ready to be whisked off for a special evening?"
Paula
"Where are you whisking me to?"
Brian
"It was just a frame of reference, I really thought you'd be the kind of girl who wouldn't tolerate anyone whisking them anywhere!"
Paula
"You'd be wrong...whisk me baby...it's been a while!
Brian
But then, I suck at character studies, my frame of reference is out of calibration...and I'm taking you to Ruth's Chris Steak House for openers...thought you might like to get away from the deli and that insane world of processed meats?"
Paula
"What did I do to deserve that?"
Brian
"I said I was a little out of calibration, I never said it didn't work!"
Paula
"Yea well...you get my brain all full of marbled protein and strong drink, and I'm liable to have my way with you if your not careful?"
Brian
"That was the general idea...molest me please!"
Paula
"A man, with a game plan...I'm loving it already...of course, what could I do without an after dinner counter treat?"
Brian
"How do you plan on countering my Dear?"
Paula
"Hmm, let's see how dinner goes...it'll be a surprise!"
Brian
"Fair enough..."
(Scene Switch)
(Two Hours Later)
Driving over to an area of Audubon Park, to a drive called the Riverfront Butterfly
Brian
"I live right down the street from here."
Paula
"Do you, well up ahead there is a shrine which bespeaks the struggles of the worshippers of the Earth and all it's natural energy...everything that grows and nurtures..."
Brian
"Whoa, that sounds kind of heavy...when did all this start?"
Paula
"Oh, from when I was a child...by the way, that dinner was awesome...remember when that lady was spearing that rib eye with her salad fork and eating around it like an ice cream cone?"
Brian
"Yea, like eat or be eaten, wasn't sure who was going to win out there...her or the meat?"
Paula
"I don't think she'd ever seen a piece of meat that big!"
Brian
"So, what was your counter for evening...did you want to go dancing or something?"
Paula
"This is my counter..we're almost there, the shrine...you see, when I was little, when my Mom was still alive, we would go and worship nature...the energy of it, the planet...Brian...I'm a Wicken!"
Brian
"Your a Witch?"
Paula
"No, a Wicken, the religious follows of Earth and nature, and all it's creatures."
Brian
"Sounds more like a cult?"
Paula
"Oh no, the traditions go back eons, everything is flowing, it's cosmic energy, like life finding itself, each person finding their own personal passage to eternal life, like no two raindrops, each perceives at one's pace...no patterns...hardly a cult..."
Brian facetiously
"Well that sounds just...just fascinating!"
Paula
"On a personal journey, it feeds those things that are naturally put there by the spirits to nurture you.
(10 Minutes Later)
Walking through the rows of old Oak trees, Brian grabs Paula by the waist and hoist her up onto the sitting limb of a tree, putting his face into her lap.
Paula
"What has you disturbed, I can sense something?"
Brian
It's just things...my way of life, things I've been doing...the things I do, it's just not me...I'm all involved in the wrongs things!"
Paula embracing his face with her hands
"What kind of wrong things?"
Brian
"It's too complicated to discuss, but just image how people dig their own little holes for themselves, climb in, never knowing the way they got in, or knowing the way out?"
Paula
"Look...find peace through acknowledgement, through that you find Love...which touches your heart, springing eternal gifts...whatever is bothering you is a misgiving...it can be pushed aside for the truth and reasoning to why you exist...you do have purpose...just ask the spirits and you will find it!
Brian
"You make it sound wonderful, almost too simplistic?"
Paula
"And it is, all for the taking, just reach up and explore...they above, they are within us, they wish to help...but they will not come till you make an honorable request..."
(1 Hour Later)
Brian and Paula at Paula's front door
Brian
"Well, honestly...I had a great time!"
Paula
"Oh, same here...most definitely...short lived, but hopefully we can make a day of it soon..."
Brian
"Do you have any days off?"
Paula
"Friday, got a few things to do in the morning..."
Brian
Got school in the morning..."
Paula
"An odd convenience, wanna try an afternoon?"
Brian
"Maybe just hang by the lake?"
Paula
"Sure, we'll do a picnic...I'll make you something special...my Mom cooked like the bomb..."
Brian
"No cold cuts, no processed meat?"
Paula
"Just the wonders of me preparing you the perfect sandwich with my sweet little hands!"
Brian
"And your hands are sweet, just like the beautiful person you are that came into my life..."
Paula
"Stop that shit, your making me tear up!
Brian gives her a hug and a kiss to her cheek
Brian
"Good night special..."
Paula
"Good night my special man..."
(Scene Switch)
(1 Hour Later)
Coming into his apartment, Sydney asleep on couch, TV blaring, Sydney shut off set and starts to go to his room
Sydney suddenly wakes up with TV off
"How was it...did you do her?"
Brian smiling as he goes upstairs
"We did each other, how about that...good night Syd!'
(Scene Close)
Brian
"Yea, I like the sliding doors on each side, perfect for bring friends in and out."
Tony
Like I said, great family car...Brian, you got family?"
Brian
"Well, off and on, I do a lot of Sabbaticals and prayer meetings..."
Sydney looking in back
"Wow Brian, lots of seat belts, lighters on each door."
Brian
"Can't have enough seat belts and lighters."
Tony
"Like I always say "Safety First"..."
(10 Minutes Later)
After coming back from test drive
Brian
"Okay, let's talk...can we get this thing off the lot for ten thousand?"
Tony
Let's see what we can work out here...did I mention that we have some nifty financing here at the low cost leader...Dealer Joe's!"
Brian
"Yea, sounds really nifty...look, just reduce the price so the title and tax comes to ten thousand...you do know how to do the numbers for that, right?"
Tony
"Well, yes I can price down a bit...come with me."
Sydney
"Isn't it true Tony, you make most of your money off of financing?"
Brian
Syd...stay out of this, we don't even know if he knows how to subtract yet...don't confuse the dude!"
(1 Hour Later)
In office Brian finally ends up not only originating the deal, but also signing it
Brian
"So, see...$8452, plus the licence and tax comes exactly to $10 thousand dollars...see how easy that was?"
Tony
"Ah...sure, are you sure you don't want to just finance this?"
Brian laughing
"No...thanks for asking, now here is a check already made out to cash for $10 thousand dollars, I'm just going to sign it to Dealer Joe's, and everybody is happy...you happy Tony?"
Tony
"I would have been a lot happier if you would have just financed it!"
Brian
"I'm sure you would...take care..."
Sydney to Brian
"I told you...they live for that financing...they get really annoyed when you pay cash!"
Brian
"I know, I know..."
(Scene Switch)
(2 Hours Later)
Back at Brian and Sydney's apartment
Brian coming out of bathroom, slightly dressed up
Sydney
"What's the occasion?"
Brian
"Taking the Rose out for her inaugural date night journey...for a previously scheduled date with that Paula girl I met the other night at Luigi's."
Sydney
"What am I suppose to do, sit here and twiddle my thumbs?"
Brian
"No hide under the passenger seat and listen to all our heavy breathing...or, you can cuddle up to a good book, like War and Peace, a handful of sobbing tissues, as you work your way through all the great battles...sniffling, crying, feeling sorry for yourself for not setting up a little activity...there are a lot of good catches around this campus...shit man, it's walking distance to a lonely girl who probably also has a fistful of tissues...you can sob-share with each other, bang like rabbits, and even have an after bang pity-party...it's all in the cards man, you can do this!"
Sydney
"You think you've got me all figured out, huh...so, do I get suicidal next...do myself in?"
Brian
"No, just reflect on that last girl you let get away...you know, masturbate a lot and get over it!"
Sydney
"Yea, that's a comforting thought...gonna really look forward to that..."
Brian
"How do I look?"
Sydney
"I'd do you, but you know, with our religious differences, you probably wouldn't put out on the first date?"
Brian
"Your probably right...I'd wanna get to know you first...then share promise rings, charm bracelets, I'm big on tradition...hey have a good one...don't wait up!"
(Scene Switch)
Brian pulling up to Paula's apartment, knocking on door, she answers
"Hello first time fellow!"
Brian
"Hello First time girl..."
Paula
"Can we make that the last time we ever use that phrase?"
Brian
"Of course, you nervous?"
Paula
"Terribly!"
Brian
"Ready to be whisked off for a special evening?"
Paula
"Where are you whisking me to?"
Brian
"It was just a frame of reference, I really thought you'd be the kind of girl who wouldn't tolerate anyone whisking them anywhere!"
Paula
"You'd be wrong...whisk me baby...it's been a while!
Brian
But then, I suck at character studies, my frame of reference is out of calibration...and I'm taking you to Ruth's Chris Steak House for openers...thought you might like to get away from the deli and that insane world of processed meats?"
Paula
"What did I do to deserve that?"
Brian
"I said I was a little out of calibration, I never said it didn't work!"
Paula
"Yea well...you get my brain all full of marbled protein and strong drink, and I'm liable to have my way with you if your not careful?"
Brian
"That was the general idea...molest me please!"
Paula
"A man, with a game plan...I'm loving it already...of course, what could I do without an after dinner counter treat?"
Brian
"How do you plan on countering my Dear?"
Paula
"Hmm, let's see how dinner goes...it'll be a surprise!"
Brian
"Fair enough..."
(Scene Switch)
(Two Hours Later)
Driving over to an area of Audubon Park, to a drive called the Riverfront Butterfly
Brian
"I live right down the street from here."
Paula
"Do you, well up ahead there is a shrine which bespeaks the struggles of the worshippers of the Earth and all it's natural energy...everything that grows and nurtures..."
Brian
"Whoa, that sounds kind of heavy...when did all this start?"
Paula
"Oh, from when I was a child...by the way, that dinner was awesome...remember when that lady was spearing that rib eye with her salad fork and eating around it like an ice cream cone?"
Brian
"Yea, like eat or be eaten, wasn't sure who was going to win out there...her or the meat?"
Paula
"I don't think she'd ever seen a piece of meat that big!"
Brian
"So, what was your counter for evening...did you want to go dancing or something?"
Paula
"This is my counter..we're almost there, the shrine...you see, when I was little, when my Mom was still alive, we would go and worship nature...the energy of it, the planet...Brian...I'm a Wicken!"
Brian
"Your a Witch?"
Paula
"No, a Wicken, the religious follows of Earth and nature, and all it's creatures."
Brian
"Sounds more like a cult?"
Paula
"Oh no, the traditions go back eons, everything is flowing, it's cosmic energy, like life finding itself, each person finding their own personal passage to eternal life, like no two raindrops, each perceives at one's pace...no patterns...hardly a cult..."
Brian facetiously
"Well that sounds just...just fascinating!"
Paula
"On a personal journey, it feeds those things that are naturally put there by the spirits to nurture you.
(10 Minutes Later)
Walking through the rows of old Oak trees, Brian grabs Paula by the waist and hoist her up onto the sitting limb of a tree, putting his face into her lap.
Paula
"What has you disturbed, I can sense something?"
Brian
It's just things...my way of life, things I've been doing...the things I do, it's just not me...I'm all involved in the wrongs things!"
Paula embracing his face with her hands
"What kind of wrong things?"
Brian
"It's too complicated to discuss, but just image how people dig their own little holes for themselves, climb in, never knowing the way they got in, or knowing the way out?"
Paula
"Look...find peace through acknowledgement, through that you find Love...which touches your heart, springing eternal gifts...whatever is bothering you is a misgiving...it can be pushed aside for the truth and reasoning to why you exist...you do have purpose...just ask the spirits and you will find it!
Brian
"You make it sound wonderful, almost too simplistic?"
Paula
"And it is, all for the taking, just reach up and explore...they above, they are within us, they wish to help...but they will not come till you make an honorable request..."
(1 Hour Later)
Brian and Paula at Paula's front door
Brian
"Well, honestly...I had a great time!"
Paula
"Oh, same here...most definitely...short lived, but hopefully we can make a day of it soon..."
Brian
"Do you have any days off?"
Paula
"Friday, got a few things to do in the morning..."
Brian
Got school in the morning..."
Paula
"An odd convenience, wanna try an afternoon?"
Brian
"Maybe just hang by the lake?"
Paula
"Sure, we'll do a picnic...I'll make you something special...my Mom cooked like the bomb..."
Brian
"No cold cuts, no processed meat?"
Paula
"Just the wonders of me preparing you the perfect sandwich with my sweet little hands!"
Brian
"And your hands are sweet, just like the beautiful person you are that came into my life..."
Paula
"Stop that shit, your making me tear up!
Brian gives her a hug and a kiss to her cheek
Brian
"Good night special..."
Paula
"Good night my special man..."
(Scene Switch)
(1 Hour Later)
Coming into his apartment, Sydney asleep on couch, TV blaring, Sydney shut off set and starts to go to his room
Sydney suddenly wakes up with TV off
"How was it...did you do her?"
Brian smiling as he goes upstairs
"We did each other, how about that...good night Syd!'
(Scene Close)
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