Kirk Carter@ Chew Bear Productions@ Copyright 2014
BRAIN HARVEST (8)
Snapple Moment
Ext: Fitzgerald's Seafood Restaurant-Lakefront-7.p.m.
Brian and Sydney sitting in Jeep with the new Cherry Red paint job, looking at clientele going in and out of the restaurant.
Brian
"Is it either picking someone who's a bit tipsy going out, or a hard nose it by actually going in there and having a meal?"
Sydney
"I like the meal idea, haven't had any good seafood in a while!"
Brian
"So that seconds the vote...anybody else care to vote...okay good let's scarf some crustaceans then..."
Going into restaurant, walking up to Greeter, who simply points to go back, as they have both steeped in front of the waiting line.
Brian
"Looks like we're already screwing this up?"
(30 Minutes Later)
Finally sitting down, going through menu.
Sydney
"Everything here is just so good, but I'm sticking to the platter!"
Brian
"Little bit of everything...speaking of which..."
Pointing at two pretty girls sitting adjacent to their table.
Brian leans over to one of the girls
"Excuse me, what's good on this menu...first time here?"
Girl #1
"Well, I like the scallops and the shrimp!"
"Girl #2
"But, she really likes the boiled crawfish, likes to suck the heads!"
Girls start pushing each other laughing, just a bit tipsy.
Girl #1-Debra
"Jennifer please?"\
Brian
"So, we have one Jennifer and who might you be?"
Girl #1-Debra
Debra, and in my opinion the platter is the best value, best bang for the buck!"
Girl #2-Jennifer
"When she's not sucking heads...she bucks and bangs, too!"
Girl #1-Debra
"Would you stop it you crazy bitch...oh I'm sorry we've been tossing a few, pardon her!"
Jennifer
"She squeezes the tail to, at least she likes to squeeze my tail..."
Sydney starts cracking up
"What are the odds, they're everywhere!"
Debra
"Your friend seems amused?"
Brian
"Pardon him, he likes to entertain himself if you know what I mean...oh, by the way I'm Dave...and my self absorbed side buddy here with his right hand girlfriend is..."
Sydney
"Name's Joey, and no I don't masturbate all the time..."
(Everybody starts laughing)
...just once in while!"
Brian
"Only when it's his time of the month...instead of a period, it's just blue balls for him!"
(Everybody laughing again)
Jennifer
"Where are you from?"
Sydney
"Uptown, round the Garden District...you?"
Jennifer
"We just crazy west girls from Metairie...so what do you?"
Brian rolling eyes
"Ah, we're marketers for...ah Snapple distribution, site developing, taste testing..."
Jennifer
"What was that motto that Snapple uses?"
Brian
"Motto?"
Jennifer
"Yea, say they so healthy, good stuff or something?"
Sydney
"Made from the best stuff on the planet!"
Brian
"Yes, of course...had a brain freeze for a second there!"
Waitress comes and takes orders
(1 Hour Later)
Paying their respected checks they all four spill out into the parking lot.
Brian
"Hey, where are you two going anyway?
Jennifer
"Maybe the Quarter, maybe Fat City...depends?"
Debra
"I'm in the mood for dancing...dance with me sweet thing, come on girl...play with me!"
Brian
"Hey girls, would you like to taste a new flavor, hasn't even been released yet?"
Jennifer
"New flavor, did you want "us" to critique and give you an opinion?"
Brian
"That would be nice, if we post it they'll even be a little compensation for your input!"
Debra
"Where is it?"
Sydney
"Here, it's over here in the ice chest, it doesn't have a package or label yet..."
Brian
"Yea, it just came to us to taste test, you are two "very" lucky girls.
Debra and Jennifer both taste the strawberry/ wild cheery shroom elixir.
Debra
"Wow, that's some tart shit...gotta a little body, little bite to it!"
Jennifer
"Wow, you can almost feel the energy, like electricity going down my throat?"
Brian looking at Sydney, pointing towards Jeep.
Sydney mouthing "not yet" back to Brian.
(15 Minutes Later)
Girls have begun to hallucinate, but are also starting to drift off further down the from the parking lot, holding each other's hand and hugging each other.
Brian tries to join them, attempting to guide them back towards Jeep.
Girls ignore him, laughing, now heading toward rocky jetty.
Finally, Brian gives up and turns back, get's in Jeep and drives over to where the girls are, dangerously trying to walk on the sharp jagged rocks along the water front as waves crash forward. Sydney walks up trying to block girls in between him and the Jeep.
Sydney
"Where are you going, you need to get away from there and go back to the parking lot!"
Brian
"Yea, you need to get away from there, you guys jump in the truck and we'll ride you back!"
The girls comply, but are clearly looped and incoherent.
Jennifer laughing
"Where are we going...are we taking a little ride?"
Brian
"Yea, thought you said you want to go dancing?"
Jennifer
"No, that was Debra, bitch can't even stay balanced, much less stand up...ain't that right Deb, you got two left feet, can't see straight, got a lesbo for a roommate..all right...whooo!
All four on board, girls's strapped down as Jeep goes down Canal Boulevard, they stop at read light in neighborhood.
Girls manage to wiggle their way out of straps, open back door, and wander off from Jeep, laughing and giggling into neighborhood.
Brian realizes what has happened and pulls over to the curb.
Brian
"Hey girls, would you like to taste a new flavor, hasn't even been released yet?"
Jennifer
"New flavor, did you want "us" to critique and give you an opinion?"
Brian
"That would be nice, if we post it they'll even be a little compensation for your input!"
Debra
"Where is it?"
Sydney
"Here, it's over here in the ice chest, it doesn't have a package or label yet..."
Brian
"Yea, it just came to us to taste test, you are two "very" lucky girls.
Debra and Jennifer both taste the strawberry/ wild cheery shroom elixir.
Debra
"Wow, that's some tart shit...gotta a little body, little bite to it!"
Jennifer
"Wow, you can almost feel the energy, like electricity going down my throat?"
Brian looking at Sydney, pointing towards Jeep.
Sydney mouthing "not yet" back to Brian.
(15 Minutes Later)
Girls have begun to hallucinate, but are also starting to drift off further down the from the parking lot, holding each other's hand and hugging each other.
Brian tries to join them, attempting to guide them back towards Jeep.
Girls ignore him, laughing, now heading toward rocky jetty.
Finally, Brian gives up and turns back, get's in Jeep and drives over to where the girls are, dangerously trying to walk on the sharp jagged rocks along the water front as waves crash forward. Sydney walks up trying to block girls in between him and the Jeep.
Sydney
"Where are you going, you need to get away from there and go back to the parking lot!"
Brian
"Yea, you need to get away from there, you guys jump in the truck and we'll ride you back!"
The girls comply, but are clearly looped and incoherent.
Jennifer laughing
"Where are we going...are we taking a little ride?"
Brian
"Yea, thought you said you want to go dancing?"
Jennifer
"No, that was Debra, bitch can't even stay balanced, much less stand up...ain't that right Deb, you got two left feet, can't see straight, got a lesbo for a roommate..all right...whooo!
All four on board, girls's strapped down as Jeep goes down Canal Boulevard, they stop at read light in neighborhood.
Girls manage to wiggle their way out of straps, open back door, and wander off from Jeep, laughing and giggling into neighborhood.
Brian realizes what has happened and pulls over to the curb.
They both get out and attempt to corral the two hallucinating girls.
Brian
"Come on girls, I thought you said you wanted to go dancing?"
No response, as girls go further into neighborhood.
Jennifer goes up to random house and knocks on door.
Homeowner lady answering
"Yes, may I help you?"
Jennifer
"Yes...it's sa, say...it's night...again and the colors are pretty...I was wondering if you had a tampon?"
Homeowner
"Oh Dear, honey...are you okay there or you hemorrhaging or anything?"
Jennifer
"No, no...nothing like that...my time of the week, you just never know when your body might decide to come on down!"
Homeowner
"Well here's a multi-pack...just keep it...hope your feeling better, good night!
Closing door, turning off light, Brian spots the activity from down the street.
Brian
"Hey, Jennifer...get back over here...it's getting late.
Jennifer
"You can't be sure of that, it changes, never on the exact same day...I've studied this, taken notes, I'm a specialist...I have to cry now, I'm so fucking ass happy...whooo!"
Brian comes to her and puts his arm around her and starts to walk back to the truck.
Brian
"You didn't see where Debra went huh?
(Scene Switch)
Debra swinging on front porch swing with drunk male owner.
Debra
"And if I didn't know any better, I would say I was just having a bad flashback...you get those from watching too many cartoons, completely screws up your perception of time!"
Drunk Homeowner Dude
"Well, you have to know your limit, stay responsible, be aware of your surrounding...it works out!"
Debra
"But it's not fair to the little guy, they take advantage of you, and use you up man!"
Drunk Homeowner
"Yea, right...you think your getting ahead, but you really aren't, your only fooling yourself if you think you can get anything over on the system...they got it all figured out!"
Sydney locates Debra with the old man, starts walking up to them.
Sydney
"Debra, come on...your late for your supper girl!"
Debra yelling back
"I already ate supper, and it feels like it's eating me now...where are we anyway?"
Sydney
"We're going home, it's all going to work itself out, we're all going to be okay!"
Drunk Homeowner
"Are you her boyfriend or something, Mam...do you know him?"
Debra
"I'm not sure...hey might be someone I know...but right now, I can't remember..."
Sydney
"Hello, looks like my lady friend here has had quite the night, thanks for watching her."
Drunk Homeowner
"Well, the Misses is with me now, we're going to spend some time together, and get friendly if everything goes right, you here me?"
Brian walks up carrying a boisterous Jennifer in his arms.
Brian
"Sydney, what 's going on here?"
Sydney
"Well, looks like Debra wants to make camp here with her new friend...the old man!"
Brian
"Excuse me sir, old man, old drunk man, a sir?"
Drunk Homeowner
"Don't call me sir without the proper signatory cadet...that would be Captain Taylor U.S. Navy to you, you little troublemaker, damn whippersnappers...none of you have any respect for the military, probably hit Canada as soon as you got your draft card...didn't you?"
Brian
"Quite the contrary, I have the ultimate respect for your service to our country...look our girl here has been handing out samples all day of our new flavor of Snapple, and she really needs to get back home and get her beauty sleep."
Drunk Homeowner
"She doesn't need any beauty sleep, she's already beautiful...you can't see that boy?"
Debra
"Oh, thank you man, your just the best...you hear that everybody, he say I'm pretty and beautiful...you did say pretty too, didn't you?"
Drunk Homeowner
"I was just getting to that..."
Debra
"I'm in full bloom, like a butterfly!"
Debra starts to take her blouse top off, and the old man stops her.
Brian
"Hang on Debra, let's not turn this into a strip show now...ah sir, Captain sir, ah Taylor Captain, I mean Captain Taylor sir...whew...I sure would be appreciative if you would do me the honor of being the first military officer to taste Snapple's New fruity health drink?"
Drunk Captain Taylor
"I'll be honest with you lad...I never was an officer, just a pump man in the sump room...they all called me...well, Captain Sump..."
Brian
"But you were a sump pump man with honors, with prestige...why I'l bet nobody pumped a sump like you did, very dedicated work minding those pumps in the sump!"
Drunk Captain Taylor
"Bad part about it, is that I was always down below, working hard, but never seen by the rest of the crew...never got a chance to shoot down any Nips, just flushing turds...and trust me boy, those boogers didn't go down easy, they'd fight you sometimes!"
Brian
"And what a fight it must have been, here...take a sip of this, it's a sample from my thermos."
Taylor takes sip
"Wow, taste like Cherries and got a bite to it..."
Brian
"Yea you've got cherries and strawberries going on there, full of nutrition!"
Taylor starts just staring out into park across the street, looking at pool, starts to smile.
Taylor
"Seem like a nice evening, yes sir...a nice evening to take a long swim!"
Brian
"Of wait, perhaps a nice drive around the city?"
Taylor
"That would work, would you mind if I stuck my head out the window and barked like a dog?"
Brian
"All that and much, much more, here try one more sip, I need a good solid opinion!"
After taking second ship Taylor's eyes start to dilate and roll back a bit.
Taylor
"Whoa, we're taking on water mates, we haven't got much time left, abandon ship, abandon ship, release the anchor!"
Brian
"Your right Captain, now make like a sponge and absorb!"
Sydney
"Brian , quit fucking with the old dude, he's probably already burning out on this shit anyway...he'll never be quite the same...so what are we going to do?"
(Scene Switch)
Ext: Tyrone's Apartment 10:30 P.M.
Tyrone opening up door to see Brian and Sydney, along with Jennifer, Debra, and the old man.
Tyrone
"Holy shit, what the hell's going on?"
Brian
"Been kind of busy tonight, they all seemed to like the Snapple!
Tyrone
"Say what?"
(Scene Close)
Brian
"Come on girls, I thought you said you wanted to go dancing?"
No response, as girls go further into neighborhood.
Jennifer goes up to random house and knocks on door.
Homeowner lady answering
"Yes, may I help you?"
Jennifer
"Yes...it's sa, say...it's night...again and the colors are pretty...I was wondering if you had a tampon?"
Homeowner
"Oh Dear, honey...are you okay there or you hemorrhaging or anything?"
Jennifer
"No, no...nothing like that...my time of the week, you just never know when your body might decide to come on down!"
Homeowner
"Well here's a multi-pack...just keep it...hope your feeling better, good night!
Closing door, turning off light, Brian spots the activity from down the street.
Brian
"Hey, Jennifer...get back over here...it's getting late.
Jennifer
"You can't be sure of that, it changes, never on the exact same day...I've studied this, taken notes, I'm a specialist...I have to cry now, I'm so fucking ass happy...whooo!"
Brian comes to her and puts his arm around her and starts to walk back to the truck.
Brian
"You didn't see where Debra went huh?
(Scene Switch)
Debra swinging on front porch swing with drunk male owner.
Debra
"And if I didn't know any better, I would say I was just having a bad flashback...you get those from watching too many cartoons, completely screws up your perception of time!"
Drunk Homeowner Dude
"Well, you have to know your limit, stay responsible, be aware of your surrounding...it works out!"
Debra
"But it's not fair to the little guy, they take advantage of you, and use you up man!"
Drunk Homeowner
"Yea, right...you think your getting ahead, but you really aren't, your only fooling yourself if you think you can get anything over on the system...they got it all figured out!"
Sydney locates Debra with the old man, starts walking up to them.
Sydney
"Debra, come on...your late for your supper girl!"
Debra yelling back
"I already ate supper, and it feels like it's eating me now...where are we anyway?"
Sydney
"We're going home, it's all going to work itself out, we're all going to be okay!"
Drunk Homeowner
"Are you her boyfriend or something, Mam...do you know him?"
Debra
"I'm not sure...hey might be someone I know...but right now, I can't remember..."
Sydney
"Hello, looks like my lady friend here has had quite the night, thanks for watching her."
Drunk Homeowner
"Well, the Misses is with me now, we're going to spend some time together, and get friendly if everything goes right, you here me?"
Brian walks up carrying a boisterous Jennifer in his arms.
Brian
"Sydney, what 's going on here?"
Sydney
"Well, looks like Debra wants to make camp here with her new friend...the old man!"
Brian
"Excuse me sir, old man, old drunk man, a sir?"
Drunk Homeowner
"Don't call me sir without the proper signatory cadet...that would be Captain Taylor U.S. Navy to you, you little troublemaker, damn whippersnappers...none of you have any respect for the military, probably hit Canada as soon as you got your draft card...didn't you?"
Brian
"Quite the contrary, I have the ultimate respect for your service to our country...look our girl here has been handing out samples all day of our new flavor of Snapple, and she really needs to get back home and get her beauty sleep."
Drunk Homeowner
"She doesn't need any beauty sleep, she's already beautiful...you can't see that boy?"
Debra
"Oh, thank you man, your just the best...you hear that everybody, he say I'm pretty and beautiful...you did say pretty too, didn't you?"
Drunk Homeowner
"I was just getting to that..."
Debra
"I'm in full bloom, like a butterfly!"
Debra starts to take her blouse top off, and the old man stops her.
Brian
"Hang on Debra, let's not turn this into a strip show now...ah sir, Captain sir, ah Taylor Captain, I mean Captain Taylor sir...whew...I sure would be appreciative if you would do me the honor of being the first military officer to taste Snapple's New fruity health drink?"
Drunk Captain Taylor
"I'll be honest with you lad...I never was an officer, just a pump man in the sump room...they all called me...well, Captain Sump..."
Brian
"But you were a sump pump man with honors, with prestige...why I'l bet nobody pumped a sump like you did, very dedicated work minding those pumps in the sump!"
Drunk Captain Taylor
"Bad part about it, is that I was always down below, working hard, but never seen by the rest of the crew...never got a chance to shoot down any Nips, just flushing turds...and trust me boy, those boogers didn't go down easy, they'd fight you sometimes!"
Brian
"And what a fight it must have been, here...take a sip of this, it's a sample from my thermos."
Taylor takes sip
"Wow, taste like Cherries and got a bite to it..."
Brian
"Yea you've got cherries and strawberries going on there, full of nutrition!"
Taylor starts just staring out into park across the street, looking at pool, starts to smile.
Taylor
"Seem like a nice evening, yes sir...a nice evening to take a long swim!"
Brian
"Of wait, perhaps a nice drive around the city?"
Taylor
"That would work, would you mind if I stuck my head out the window and barked like a dog?"
Brian
"All that and much, much more, here try one more sip, I need a good solid opinion!"
After taking second ship Taylor's eyes start to dilate and roll back a bit.
Taylor
"Whoa, we're taking on water mates, we haven't got much time left, abandon ship, abandon ship, release the anchor!"
Brian
"Your right Captain, now make like a sponge and absorb!"
Sydney
"Brian , quit fucking with the old dude, he's probably already burning out on this shit anyway...he'll never be quite the same...so what are we going to do?"
(Scene Switch)
Ext: Tyrone's Apartment 10:30 P.M.
Tyrone opening up door to see Brian and Sydney, along with Jennifer, Debra, and the old man.
Tyrone
"Holy shit, what the hell's going on?"
Brian
"Been kind of busy tonight, they all seemed to like the Snapple!
Tyrone
"Say what?"
(Scene Close)
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