Kirk Carter@ Chew Bear Productions@ Copyright 2014
BRAIN HARVEST (12)
Bowling For Bimbos
Ext: Time Saver Mini-Mart-Carrrollton Avenue-6 p.m.
Brian and Sydney get off street car and walk down to the Time Saver across the street from Tyrone, calling Tyrone on pay phone.
Brian
"What's up, we're right across the street?"
Tyrone
"Man, you see what happened on I-10, stuff all messed up?"
Brian
"Yea, between the snoopers from last night...this shit's been busier than a kicked over ant hill, jeep got stolen, they wrecked it, got ejected and met Jesus...cops just interviewed me in front of the apartment, asking all kinds of questions..."
Tyrone
"When they come?"
Brian
"About 3 or so, but I just said I didn't have a clue as to what they were talking about, they got nothing solid to work with, and finally they just split!"
Tyrone
"I told you there was nothing to hook this on, they ain't got nothing Bro...and if they don't get anything soon, the chief honchos just gonna make them drop the case...they got other shit to do!"
Brian
"So, just like that...they just vanish?"
Tyrone
"Not completly, but this is a new game to them...at least here, they don't even understand what we are doing yet...and even if they did, it would be hard to file anything on anyone and make it stick!"
Brian
"They understand abduction, kidnapping, taking someone's life away...that part is serious man..."
Tyrone
"And temporary, we're not making hostages out of them or holding them for ransom...we're just borrowing a couple of days and draining them of any happy juice...they'll make more!"
Brian
"So, what's the deal with the flying Caruso's, are they ready to get back to the hanger?"
Tyrone
"Yea, got good extraction from both of them, but it's time we returned them back...you got them from the airport...which one?"
Brian
"Lakefront...thought I might just drop 'em off there...whatta you think?"
Tyrone
"Drop 'em off in what...your Jeep be scrap metal?"
Brian
"Well, until I can get another car...I guess we'll have to use your mini van...would that be okay?"
Tyrone
"Man fuck, I wish you would think this out before...just for tonight, but I have to have you back by 10:30 you here me?"
Brian
"Yes father...old wise one, man of perpetual wrongful ploy and confusion...I will bring thy vessel at the time spoken of thee!"
Tyrone
"What the fuck you been smokin, sound like that guy that make them fishing poles?"
Brian
"Look, we're across the street, wanna do it now?"
Tyrone
"Go get a coffee, give me about 30 minutes...go around the block and come up on the back alley, gotta prep the prop jockeys and get them ready for their buzz ride, later!
As Brian hangs up the phone, he see's that Sydney has already gotten a coffee from the Time Saver and is standing on the corner of the wall, staring over into a row of tall bushes.
Brian walks over
"What you peeping at?"
Sydney
"There is a van back there...I just saw two men get out of a car, it dropped them off, and they climbed into that van...kinda like those guys we saw the other night...all black casual shit!"
Brian
"Well, that's them then...it wasn't a mirage after all...but how in the hell did they know?"
Sydney
"Someone squealed, and considering the connection between the Jeep and location, I guess they put two and two together and got lucky with an interview with someone."
Brian
"Well, other than the tags, I hope they're not looking for us...I mean apparently not cause they..."
Sydney
"Picked you up a few hours ago?"
Brian
"Exactly...come on let's get around the block and come up the back way...we'll be out of sight, out of mind...at least for tonight!"
Sydney
"We've got to plan a new location, this is getting little bit too uncomfortable for me!"
Brian
"It already's uncomfortable...what are you talking about?"
(Scene Switch)
Officer Klein in surveillance van across the street from Tyrone's apartment looking through binoculars
"There is movement, but I can't make out what?"
Officer Harris
"Seems to me, they're going about just being neighbors, part of the neighborhood...f there is something going on...they're doing it well...wish I had neighbors like that!"
Officer Klein
"Where do you live at?"
Officer Harris
"Next to a liquor store where they sell lottery tickets...brings in the crap, worst of the worst!"
Officer Klein
"I would agree, nothing worse than drunk street gamblers...but I bet the rent is cheap?"
Officer Harris
"They practically begged me to stay there...having a cop in complex helps them sleep better!"
Officer Klein
"We tend to have that effect...wanna see my big gun bitch...tell me...how many bullets you see in there, go on, tell me...take a big wild guess...wanna hold my slug?"
Officer Harris
"Ha-ppi...ness is a..."
Officer Klein
"...a warm gun-un..ow ah oww!"
(Both laughing)
(Scene Switch)
Brian and Sydney coming up back alley to Tyrone's door, pressing buzzer
Tyrone
"Who's there?"
Brian
"Who do you think, I just talked to you on the phone...it's Brian!"
Tyrone
"Anybody tailing you, anybody got a gun to your back?"
Brian
"If they were, would it be a good idea to say anything?"
Tyrone opening door
"Is that a trick question?"
Brian
"It's just that you can never be too sure...we're running late, where's our fly jockey's?"
Tyrone
"Sitting on the couch...watching the pretty colors on the screen...gave them some Aderal and some morphine...pretty much anything will entertain them at this point...you guys figure out where your going to take them?"
Brian
"Thought just back to the airport, will look like they've been wandering around the Lake or something!"
Tyrone
"Just as well, but try to be cool with things...cause people be seeing you take these zombies out, they'll know somethings up!"
Brian
"I just don't feel like fucking with the restaurant stuff tonight..."
Tyrone
"Okay, here's your check, my keys to my Buddy...try to be safe, and I'm assuming your bringing someone back tonight?"
Brian
"Yea, thought we might come up Gentilly, maybe hit the bowling alley or something..."
Tyrone
"There ya go, no telling what delectable's you'll find in there, good luck!"
Brian and Sydney guide the inebriated pilots over to the van
Brian
"There we go sir, everything is going to be fine..."
Aviator #1
"Where have we been, are we being mistreated?"
Sydney
"No, you have just been given an award for flights of valor..."
Aviator #2
"They don't give those away anymore...not since World War Two!
Brian
"Well, this is one (glancing at Sydney), they were meaning to give you guys when you were downing those Nips...congratulations...now let's get you back to the airport!"
(Scene Switch)
In surveillance van Officer Klein notices activity across the street at Tyrone's apartment, since his pardoner was fast asleep, he decides to radio it in.
Jericho One to Klondike are you there 10-4?"
(Slight Pause)
Jericho to Klondike wake up...10-4?"
Agent Davis
"Sorry Klein...I mean Klondike, I mean Jericho One...gee, I guess everybody knows everybody now, kinda drifted off there...what's up...ah 10-4?"
Officer Klein
"Looks like two individuals are helping two individuals into a gray Toyota, the one owned by apartment occupant...any response...ah wait, it looks like the two are wearing uniforms...look like pilot uniforms...anything 10-4?"
Agent Davis
"That does seem odd, but keep the video running and just maintain surveillance, 10-4?"
Officer Klein
"Okay sir, you can go back to bed now, Jericho One 10-6!"
Agent Davis
"Thank you...would you like to tuck me in with bed time story...don't forget I've been pulling a double shift with this crap...I'm zoned sir!"
Officer Klein
"Sorry sir, just making a funny, Jericho One 10-6..."
(Scene Switch)
(45 Minutes Later)
Brian driving into Lakefront Airport, pulling up to maintenance area next to where the large classic planes are parked.
Brian
"Here guys, the general's going to meet you here in a minute...we have orders to drop you off here."
Aviator #1
"The general...heavens man, I ain't even in uniform...well I am, but this ain't pressed, I smell like whisky and rubbing alcohol, what in the hell have we been doing...he's gonna write me up looking like this!"
Brian pulling them out of the van
"Oh, I'm sure he'll understand...you smell like you've just taken a bath at a French whore house, I'm sure the General's been there before...so you guys take care...oh, and congratulations on your awards, we're so proud of you guys...it was fun...we must do this again...take care...bye!"
Sydney to Brian
"Damn, you hurried through that one...pretty impressive...kind of got off that guilt trip, huh?"
Brian
"Well, I saved on the dinner bullshit, and this just seemed like a situation for a change up!"
Sydney
"So, what now..."
Brian
"Bowling my man, pick up a spare maybe?"
Sydney
"My handicap sucks...but I get a good run once in while..."
Brian
"Practice my son, practice!"
(15 Minutes Later)
Brian and Sydney pulling into Orbit Lanes parking lot.
Walking up carrying bottle of shroom elixir in Thermos, they enter the front of the facility.
Looking around at lines, some people getting shoes, getting food at vendors, some playing pinball machines, people ordering beer every lane packed with groups of bowlers.
Brian
"Looks like we hit the jack pot...the place for new faces..."
Sydney
"Who would have ever thought a bowling alley...I must admit, quite a selection...anyone sticking out for you?"
Brian spotting two girls fighting over a beer, barefoot, trying to put socks on
"My wienie beacon just went off!"
Sydney
"Your wienie what?"
Brian
Beacon...didn't know I had one huh?"
Sydney
"Is that like a GPS?"
Brian
"Uh-huh, when the wang twang, the fat lady sang, oh dang...I found a woman...once again!"
Sydney
"Okay...Mister Wienie Beacon, please...by all means, don't let me interfere with your insanity...that divining rod penis thing you got going there...I think someone needs a beer!"
Brian
"I don't need a beer..."
Sydney
"No, I was talking about me...your warped logic is calling for a bender...I need to find your cloud and get on board...one second...I'll be back!"
Brian
"Well, go get your suds, I'm going to see how the ladies are doing..."
Brian walking over, beginning to catch the girl's conversation
Girl #1
"Marge, that's not a good fit for you, you got the left on the right, and the other way around, and that color match looks like shit...damn train wreck, are you a real girl cause you suck at it?"
Girl #2
"Wish I could just go barefoot, maybe just bowl in my socks...I don't care, they fit...it was the only pair of 7's they had...there's a time for fashion, there's a time to fall on your head and break your neck, and there..."
Girl #1
"Time to go get some more beer...which is...well look at the time...happens to be now, and it's your turn to buy (sticking tongue out)!"
Brian walking up
"Hello girls, can you help me...I'n having a dilemma...who is prettier...you or her?"
Girl #2
"Is this a trick question?"
Brian
"Heaven's no, I was just going to say that you have both been blessed, I'd even say it was a tie!"
Girl #2
"I'd say it was Brenda, Brenda'a prettier than me...but then again, she's a lush, a female Dean Martin, nobody Loves somebody like she Loves herself, and on top of that she drinks like a fish...I swear, if I don't watch her she drinks all our bowling money away..."
Brian
"Does it improve the game, or does it matter?"
Girl #1
"Less games, better quality...shit faced works for me..."
Girl #2
"Your right, I don't know about sharper, but at that point I don't care about anything...and get the fuck out of my way!"
Girl #2
"She doesn't waste time looking in the mirror, playing with her hair, looking around to see who's looking at her...she's like this, one bare foot, one dirty sock, back woods hick!"
Girl #1
"I ain't no hick Miss Penis in her purse...oh sorry, that one just sort of came out...I said I'd never mention her mechanical buddy cock, but I'm fucked up and too embarrassed to care!"
Girl #2
"It's a good thing I'm too drunk to stand up and bust her teeth out, but I'm going to take this little pencil and write it on mu hand...bust my best bitches teeth out in the morning...there!"
Girl #1
"Why do they have these little short pencils anyway, fuck you can't even write the scores down?"
Girl #2
"To keep people like me from ramming them through your head, can't get a grip...nobody dies!"
Girl #1
"See how she gets...she gets drunk, flashes her tits, then when your not looking she bowls in your lane...stupid bitch..."
Girl #2
"That's a practice shot you moron, doesn't effect my game at all..."
Girl #1
"But the practice lane belongs to somebody else...you ruined their game!"
Girl #2
"So...tough toenails...ain't my fault they left the lane open...they learn, they learn from the...the experience!"
Girl #1
"Oh, and if you leave a beer sitting, forget to finish all of it...she comes along like a silly sucker and absorbs it for you...like a sponge with tits I tell you!"
Brian
"Like an opportunist there...personally I like to see a little aggressiveness in a woman..."
Girl #1
"Well, have at her, I'm officially donating her to your blue balls club, cause you got to be damn horny to want her panties down..."
Girl #2
"That's enough you Cinderella loving pussy monster, come here!"
Both girls drop their beers and start wrestling on the floor, shirts are partially torn off, exposing breast, they roll around before Brian grabs one and a security guard grabs the other, Sydney walks up from the beer bar.
"Gee, did I miss something?"
Guard
"Do you know these two, cause if not I'm taking them in for fighting?"
Brian
"Of course sir, I'm sorry...those are my friends and I think these young ladies have had a little too much tonight, we need to get them home and tuck them in, thank you officer.
Guard
"Are you sure you don't need a hand here?"
Brian
"Well...actually, that would be nice if you could escort us through the crowds, I'm parked right in front...thank you very much!"
Guard
"No problem man..."
Brain and the guard "carry walk" a girl each out to the parking lot, where Sydney already has the sliding back door to the Toyota window van already open. They strap the girls in the rear seats, adjusting their torn tops and opening their dilated eyes.
Sydney
"How were you able to get them to drink the swill?'
Brian laughing
"I didn't, they just came that way...fucked up!
Sydney
"Well, I'll hand it too you for creative cost cutting, first you skimped on dinner for the pilots and now no pre-shrooming toddies for the Bimbos...your a CPA's dream come true!"
Brian
"And the beauty of it all, is that it's all a write off at the end of the year!"
Sydney
"What box is that under?"
Brian
"Cost Overruns!"
Sydney
"Shall we head back to the Ponderosa?"
Brian
"Yep, the horses need watering...Getty up let's go!
(Scene Close)
(Scene Switch)
Officer Klein in surveillance van across the street from Tyrone's apartment looking through binoculars
"There is movement, but I can't make out what?"
Officer Harris
"Seems to me, they're going about just being neighbors, part of the neighborhood...f there is something going on...they're doing it well...wish I had neighbors like that!"
Officer Klein
"Where do you live at?"
Officer Harris
"Next to a liquor store where they sell lottery tickets...brings in the crap, worst of the worst!"
Officer Klein
"I would agree, nothing worse than drunk street gamblers...but I bet the rent is cheap?"
Officer Harris
"They practically begged me to stay there...having a cop in complex helps them sleep better!"
Officer Klein
"We tend to have that effect...wanna see my big gun bitch...tell me...how many bullets you see in there, go on, tell me...take a big wild guess...wanna hold my slug?"
Officer Harris
"Ha-ppi...ness is a..."
Officer Klein
"...a warm gun-un..ow ah oww!"
(Both laughing)
(Scene Switch)
Brian and Sydney coming up back alley to Tyrone's door, pressing buzzer
Tyrone
"Who's there?"
Brian
"Who do you think, I just talked to you on the phone...it's Brian!"
Tyrone
"Anybody tailing you, anybody got a gun to your back?"
Brian
"If they were, would it be a good idea to say anything?"
Tyrone opening door
"Is that a trick question?"
Brian
"It's just that you can never be too sure...we're running late, where's our fly jockey's?"
Tyrone
"Sitting on the couch...watching the pretty colors on the screen...gave them some Aderal and some morphine...pretty much anything will entertain them at this point...you guys figure out where your going to take them?"
Brian
"Thought just back to the airport, will look like they've been wandering around the Lake or something!"
Tyrone
"Just as well, but try to be cool with things...cause people be seeing you take these zombies out, they'll know somethings up!"
Brian
"I just don't feel like fucking with the restaurant stuff tonight..."
Tyrone
"Okay, here's your check, my keys to my Buddy...try to be safe, and I'm assuming your bringing someone back tonight?"
Brian
"Yea, thought we might come up Gentilly, maybe hit the bowling alley or something..."
Tyrone
"There ya go, no telling what delectable's you'll find in there, good luck!"
Brian and Sydney guide the inebriated pilots over to the van
Brian
"There we go sir, everything is going to be fine..."
Aviator #1
"Where have we been, are we being mistreated?"
Sydney
"No, you have just been given an award for flights of valor..."
Aviator #2
"They don't give those away anymore...not since World War Two!
Brian
"Well, this is one (glancing at Sydney), they were meaning to give you guys when you were downing those Nips...congratulations...now let's get you back to the airport!"
(Scene Switch)
In surveillance van Officer Klein notices activity across the street at Tyrone's apartment, since his pardoner was fast asleep, he decides to radio it in.
Jericho One to Klondike are you there 10-4?"
(Slight Pause)
Jericho to Klondike wake up...10-4?"
Agent Davis
"Sorry Klein...I mean Klondike, I mean Jericho One...gee, I guess everybody knows everybody now, kinda drifted off there...what's up...ah 10-4?"
Officer Klein
"Looks like two individuals are helping two individuals into a gray Toyota, the one owned by apartment occupant...any response...ah wait, it looks like the two are wearing uniforms...look like pilot uniforms...anything 10-4?"
Agent Davis
"That does seem odd, but keep the video running and just maintain surveillance, 10-4?"
Officer Klein
"Okay sir, you can go back to bed now, Jericho One 10-6!"
Agent Davis
"Thank you...would you like to tuck me in with bed time story...don't forget I've been pulling a double shift with this crap...I'm zoned sir!"
Officer Klein
"Sorry sir, just making a funny, Jericho One 10-6..."
(Scene Switch)
(45 Minutes Later)
Brian driving into Lakefront Airport, pulling up to maintenance area next to where the large classic planes are parked.
Brian
"Here guys, the general's going to meet you here in a minute...we have orders to drop you off here."
Aviator #1
"The general...heavens man, I ain't even in uniform...well I am, but this ain't pressed, I smell like whisky and rubbing alcohol, what in the hell have we been doing...he's gonna write me up looking like this!"
Brian pulling them out of the van
"Oh, I'm sure he'll understand...you smell like you've just taken a bath at a French whore house, I'm sure the General's been there before...so you guys take care...oh, and congratulations on your awards, we're so proud of you guys...it was fun...we must do this again...take care...bye!"
Sydney to Brian
"Damn, you hurried through that one...pretty impressive...kind of got off that guilt trip, huh?"
Brian
"Well, I saved on the dinner bullshit, and this just seemed like a situation for a change up!"
Sydney
"So, what now..."
Brian
"Bowling my man, pick up a spare maybe?"
Sydney
"My handicap sucks...but I get a good run once in while..."
Brian
"Practice my son, practice!"
(15 Minutes Later)
Brian and Sydney pulling into Orbit Lanes parking lot.
Walking up carrying bottle of shroom elixir in Thermos, they enter the front of the facility.
Looking around at lines, some people getting shoes, getting food at vendors, some playing pinball machines, people ordering beer every lane packed with groups of bowlers.
Brian
"Looks like we hit the jack pot...the place for new faces..."
Sydney
"Who would have ever thought a bowling alley...I must admit, quite a selection...anyone sticking out for you?"
Brian spotting two girls fighting over a beer, barefoot, trying to put socks on
"My wienie beacon just went off!"
Sydney
"Your wienie what?"
Brian
Beacon...didn't know I had one huh?"
Sydney
"Is that like a GPS?"
Brian
"Uh-huh, when the wang twang, the fat lady sang, oh dang...I found a woman...once again!"
Sydney
"Okay...Mister Wienie Beacon, please...by all means, don't let me interfere with your insanity...that divining rod penis thing you got going there...I think someone needs a beer!"
Brian
"I don't need a beer..."
Sydney
"No, I was talking about me...your warped logic is calling for a bender...I need to find your cloud and get on board...one second...I'll be back!"
Brian
"Well, go get your suds, I'm going to see how the ladies are doing..."
Brian walking over, beginning to catch the girl's conversation
Girl #1
"Marge, that's not a good fit for you, you got the left on the right, and the other way around, and that color match looks like shit...damn train wreck, are you a real girl cause you suck at it?"
Girl #2
"Wish I could just go barefoot, maybe just bowl in my socks...I don't care, they fit...it was the only pair of 7's they had...there's a time for fashion, there's a time to fall on your head and break your neck, and there..."
Girl #1
"Time to go get some more beer...which is...well look at the time...happens to be now, and it's your turn to buy (sticking tongue out)!"
Brian walking up
"Hello girls, can you help me...I'n having a dilemma...who is prettier...you or her?"
Girl #2
"Is this a trick question?"
Brian
"Heaven's no, I was just going to say that you have both been blessed, I'd even say it was a tie!"
Girl #2
"I'd say it was Brenda, Brenda'a prettier than me...but then again, she's a lush, a female Dean Martin, nobody Loves somebody like she Loves herself, and on top of that she drinks like a fish...I swear, if I don't watch her she drinks all our bowling money away..."
Brian
"Does it improve the game, or does it matter?"
Girl #1
"Less games, better quality...shit faced works for me..."
Girl #2
"Your right, I don't know about sharper, but at that point I don't care about anything...and get the fuck out of my way!"
Girl #2
"She doesn't waste time looking in the mirror, playing with her hair, looking around to see who's looking at her...she's like this, one bare foot, one dirty sock, back woods hick!"
Girl #1
"I ain't no hick Miss Penis in her purse...oh sorry, that one just sort of came out...I said I'd never mention her mechanical buddy cock, but I'm fucked up and too embarrassed to care!"
Girl #2
"It's a good thing I'm too drunk to stand up and bust her teeth out, but I'm going to take this little pencil and write it on mu hand...bust my best bitches teeth out in the morning...there!"
Girl #1
"Why do they have these little short pencils anyway, fuck you can't even write the scores down?"
Girl #2
"To keep people like me from ramming them through your head, can't get a grip...nobody dies!"
Girl #1
"See how she gets...she gets drunk, flashes her tits, then when your not looking she bowls in your lane...stupid bitch..."
Girl #2
"That's a practice shot you moron, doesn't effect my game at all..."
Girl #1
"But the practice lane belongs to somebody else...you ruined their game!"
Girl #2
"So...tough toenails...ain't my fault they left the lane open...they learn, they learn from the...the experience!"
Girl #1
"Oh, and if you leave a beer sitting, forget to finish all of it...she comes along like a silly sucker and absorbs it for you...like a sponge with tits I tell you!"
Brian
"Like an opportunist there...personally I like to see a little aggressiveness in a woman..."
Girl #1
"Well, have at her, I'm officially donating her to your blue balls club, cause you got to be damn horny to want her panties down..."
Girl #2
"That's enough you Cinderella loving pussy monster, come here!"
Both girls drop their beers and start wrestling on the floor, shirts are partially torn off, exposing breast, they roll around before Brian grabs one and a security guard grabs the other, Sydney walks up from the beer bar.
"Gee, did I miss something?"
Guard
"Do you know these two, cause if not I'm taking them in for fighting?"
Brian
"Of course sir, I'm sorry...those are my friends and I think these young ladies have had a little too much tonight, we need to get them home and tuck them in, thank you officer.
Guard
"Are you sure you don't need a hand here?"
Brian
"Well...actually, that would be nice if you could escort us through the crowds, I'm parked right in front...thank you very much!"
Guard
"No problem man..."
Brain and the guard "carry walk" a girl each out to the parking lot, where Sydney already has the sliding back door to the Toyota window van already open. They strap the girls in the rear seats, adjusting their torn tops and opening their dilated eyes.
Sydney
"How were you able to get them to drink the swill?'
Brian laughing
"I didn't, they just came that way...fucked up!
Sydney
"Well, I'll hand it too you for creative cost cutting, first you skimped on dinner for the pilots and now no pre-shrooming toddies for the Bimbos...your a CPA's dream come true!"
Brian
"And the beauty of it all, is that it's all a write off at the end of the year!"
Sydney
"What box is that under?"
Brian
"Cost Overruns!"
Sydney
"Shall we head back to the Ponderosa?"
Brian
"Yep, the horses need watering...Getty up let's go!
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